New Friend

The past week has been a bit of emotional whirlwind for me.

Having blessed with a hearing impaired child, i'm never at ease. Most days are fine. Some days i'm in despair, panic attack, guilt.. i worry a lot. i have so many questions.

When will Afif talk?
What if Afif can't talk?
Will his future be okay?
Can he make friends?
Can he go to normal school?

More questions than i (or even his therapist) could answer.

The hardest thing is not having or knowing anyone else that have the same experience.

i missed Afif's last speech therapy because i had to present in a meeting. i never missed it and God did i feel guilty. Mr. Chenta took him for therapy and he is amazing but you know it's different when you are not there.

Because i'm such a control freak, i emailed his therapist. i can't rest not getting information first hand. Asking this and that. i hope she doesn't find me too bossy and nosey. My prayer has been answered when she gave me a contact number of a mom with a hearing impaired daughter.

It's just what i need.

Someone who was there, went through what i go through.
Someone who can share what she did. How she did it.
Someone who understands.

We got in touch recently. Alhamdulillah for this new friend.

She said it ain't easy.
She took time off work in the critical years.
She went for seminars/talks/classes. She sent the daughter (who was 2-4 years at that time) to music class, writing class, and various therapies.
She put of having another baby until the daughter is 6 years old.
But now, she said, it's worth it. The daughter is 7 years old and speaking and hearing well.

i'm so amazed at her effort.
i never thought of music class nor writing class for Afif (for God's sake, he's not even 2!)
i never went for talks/seminars/playgroup. Not because i don't want to, because i couldn't find one.
Though i wanted to go someplace else for therapy, i never made the move.

This new info is both a relief and a curse.
Because i feel like i'm not doing enough for my son.

Oh well.
What the use of dwelling.
Now that i know, i'll do a better job.

Must. Find. Music. Class. ASAP.
Must. Find. A. Talk/Seminar. ASAP.

Reality Check

Semalam macam biasa lah aku balik keje naik train. Terhegeh-hegeh berjalan dengan 5-inch heels aku ni. Macam biasa jugak lah dalam train memang kebarangkalian nak dapat tempat duduk memang sangat kecil. Tak la jugk kesah sebab dah biasa berdiri. 

So there i was, minding my own business, playing with my phone, berdiri mengadap passanger yang duduk.

Tiba-tiba..

"Dik.. Nak duduk?" tegur sorang akak yang duduk depan aku. "Sorry la akak baru perasan.." katanya.

And i was like "Eh.. Takpe kak"

And she said "Takpe.. Duduk lah" sambil nak bangon.

Aku pon cakap "Takpe kak.. Saya bukan ngandong pon. Ni gemok je.."

Muka hakak tu PRICELESS

Reaction dalam kepala hotak aku pon PRICELESS.

HAMAGADDDD serious lah aku dah gemok tahap orang mengandong ke weh?

Then i realized i have been eating a lot lately especially bende manis seperti ice blended, choc chip cookies (banyak gila sebab tengah membungkus kat umah untuk doorgift adik aku kawen), popcorn.. Aku perasan gak nasi dalam pinggan pon dah jadi setengah pinggan compared to dulu before Afif suku pinggan gitu je. 

Alasan aku makan sukahati adalah sebab aku breastfeed, i need more to produce milk. Memang selama ni makan banyak mana pon, berat aku maintain. Siap lose weight masa cuti 3 bulan sebab penat jadi SAHM. Tapi skang aku pam pon sehari sekali compared to dulu 2-3 kali. Memang calorie berlebih tu jadi lemak la, bukan jadi susu.

A hard slap of reality in my face.

Seriously, kene kembali ke pangkal jalan. 

No more excessive eating. 

No more twice a week Extreme Latte Frappe. 

No more makan cookies. 

No more cream based pasta everytime makan pasta. 

No more nasik lemak. 

No more late night nasik just because "nanti malam takda susu camne?"

Have to workout.

Petang tu, sampai je umah lepas amek Afif terus lah mini workout katanya. Kat dalam bilik je pon sambil Afif layan iPad. Planking. Push-ups. Sit-ups (which i failed miserably sebab takde orang pegang kaki aku). Squats. The things i learnt in bootcamp. Nak gi gym, jogging bagai sape la nak jaga anak aku kan..

Lunch pulak harini aku makan salad je. Ok fine sebenarnya bawah salad tu ade pasta coz i still need some carbo ok. But at least not nasi lauk ayam lemak.

Not much but it's something. A start to my change.

Aku bukan nak diet beriya macam orang kat insta/fb #eatclean #workout #abs #fitness katanya. Sekadar kembali ke pangkal jalan. 

Wish me luck and doa la supaya aku tak start makan cam onggiler after 1 week. 

30 day squat challenge for beautiful ass.

Jom?

p/s: aku pon slalu confuse dalam train sama ada seseorang perempuan itu mengandung atau pon gemok. Aku rasa tips untuk tau pompuan dalam train tu pregnant ataupon gemok: 

1) kalo pakai kasut 5 inci sah la tak pregnant. 

2) kalo dia muka pucat nampak penat pastu pegang perot 70% kemungkinan dia pregnant

3) pakai kasut tumit rendah yang tak cantik tapi comfy tu kemungkinan 50% pregnant (i wore a hideous yellow Clarks flats throughout my pregnancy sebab walopon tak cantik, itu yg paling selesa utk aku)

4) dia tayang perot dia kat depan 'seats for disabled people' dengan muka yang macam kata "bangon la wehh aku ngandong, nak duduk"

Slow

Boleh tak aku nak kata aku stress dengan keje?

Haih.

Tahun baru ni, opis baru ada re-org. New boss. New task. New experience.

Tapi ntah la. Aku rasa macam lagi kurang keje. Aku harapkan dapat technical work seperti buat static model ke, buat well proposal ke. Tapi setakat almost 2 bulan yang aku dah start keje ni, keje aku adalah kumpul data, review report orang, compare itu ini.

Haih.

Stress lah weh.

p/s: Manusia. Keje banyak, komplen. Keje sikit, komplen. Keje susah, komplen. Keje senang, komplen.

Update: lepas je aku tulis post ni, aku gi jumpe boss, propose in-house study. And she said yes! Yayyy so ade la jugak technical job pasni. Wish me luck!

My New Baby

For those who know me, they know that i love to shop. Heck, pompuan mana lah tak suka shopping kan? Kikiki..

Tapi sebenarnya those who knows me know that sebenarnya aku ni kedekut. Truthfully, aku takda designer shoes. Bag mahal pon ada satu je, itu pon beg hantaran yang laki aku bagi. Mini Stam by March Jacobs tu dah dua tahun aku usha. Nak beli, sayang duit. Bukan tak mampu weh tapi duit beriban tu baik la aku gi travel or beli bag 2-3 ketul. Laki aku kesian, dia belikan lah juga untuk buat hantaran. Sukaaaaa! Sampai skang terperap dalam dustbag, pakai bila ada special occasion je. Punya lah sayang.

For this year's bonus, i decided to buy something BIG for myself. As a reward for the past one year of being a mom. For the time i took off work to concentrate on Afif. For buying something significant that i can look back and say "Oh.. Tahun 2014 aku beli INI". Something entirely for me. Unlike past years where i save up my bonus for family holidays, house stuff, baby stuff, wedding stuff..

So i decided to buy a bag. A designer bag.

Aku bajetkan bawah 5k je. 5k tu pon aku rasa banyak dah weh for a bag. i surveyed high and low for something i like below RM5k. Gucci, LV, Ferragamo, Prada, Fendi.. Ceh Carlo Rino tak pulak ko jengah kan? Baahaha..

Yang sakit hati nya, semua bag aku suka mesti atas 5k. Yang 5k and below either canvas or fabric. Gila tak berbaloi beli bag beriban tapi bukan leather pon. Alang-alang mahal, beli la leather kan? Tapi paham tak yang aku suka memang semuanya over budget. 

Stress.

Antara beg yang aku usha dan berkenan:

Fendi Toujours 

MM Neverfull Epi Leather in Orange.

One of my dream bags. Boleh letak botol susu, barang anak, mak nenek segala. 

Pastu As kata ko beli bag mahal nak letak botol susu anak? (-____-)

 Chanel Boy.

Berangan je weh masuk Chanel. Ni lagi la berbelas ribu. Mampoo?

Prada Double Zipper Patent Saffiano.

Went crazy for this aaaa!

3 weeks aku survey weh.. Survey online, survey kat butik. 3 weeks i ponder is it freaking worth it to spend thousands on a bag? 3 weeks i slept on it. 3 weeks aku membebel kat laki aku pasal handbag. 3 freaking weeks! 

Last-last laki aku kata "beli je la mana yang suka.. Kang beli yang murah (tapi mahal gak) tapi tak suka buat apa?" Mesti dia dah penat dengar aku membebel, meng-compare itu ini.

Maka aku beli je la walopon memang telan air liur tengok orang tu swipe kad aku kaa-chinggg!

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 Ngajor anak naik beskal sambil pegang handbag. Boleh?

Muat je pampers and botol susu Afif dalam ni. Bahaha.

Ok. Now i can shut up. Dok dediam peluk je beg ape ade. Pasni takde dah entry aku beli beg ye. Menabung balik. Tunggu dua tahun.

Okbye.

Toddler Activity: Bathroom Painting

Ok so Afif loves the iPad. i came to realize that after two mornings of him getting up and out of bed and point the iPad at me. Now before you bash me, don't worry. It's not an addiction yet. Setakat ni tak pernah la lagi dia mengamuk tantrum kalo tak dapat. Phew phew..

But yaa.. Of course we have to plan stuff for him to vary his activities. Mainan banyak tapi kejap-kejap main dia bosan. Dia suka main air, aku layan la jugak kat toilet tapi susah sebab takot basah hearing aid dia. Main hide and seek pon layan. Dia layan gak crayon, pencil color and magic color tapi lelama dia ada idea conteng dinding plak (-____-) so i minimize his contact with those.

i got him this Crayola Washable Kids' Paint a few weeks ago. The first time we painted was one rainy day after he got up from his afternoon nap. Kononnya fun activity. Tapi time tu dia cranky, dia conteng sekali dua je pastu marah aku cat tapak tangan dia pastu we wrap up. So much for being artsy.

The supplies for painting activities.

 End product

Cranky kene paksa melukis

Then yesterday i had this bright idea of combining his favorite place, the toilet, and some art stuff. Maka terjadi lah bathroom painting!

Bangon pagi dan brekpes, i stripped him down. Ingatkan nak mandi la tuh. He got excited pon seeing the paint i laid on the stool in the bathroom. Then i started painting the house and tree, he followed suit. But of course, no house, tree or even stick figures from him yet. Conteng-conteng ikot suka je.

Muka puas hati main conteng-conteng

Our masterpiece.

He was so happy experimenting siap cover toilet bowl pon dia conteng. i think this activity is good to train our baby's motor skill and also to teach them colors. i even mix a few colors together to create a new color for example blue+yellow=green!

The best part is this Crayola Paint is totally washable. After our painting session, simbah air kat dinding tiles tu and gosok sikit-sikit pakai tangan je terus hilang color tu. No mess for lazy moms like me.

p/s: malam tu dia amek pencil color dan conteng dinding rumah while i was busy in the kitchen. Laki aku gelak je "siapa suruh ajar conteng toilet?" katanya. Haihhh..

Weekend in Kuantan

Last weekend, we went to Kuantan. Main objective is to attend my cousin Allan's akad nikah and wedding reception. Secondary objective is to jalan-jalan makan angin. Wahhh mampu ko siap ada primary secondary objective bagai..

Patotnya nak bertolak Jumaat pagi.. Tapi kene gi klinik audiologi plak nak betulkan setting hearing aid Afif sebab dia suka tarik-tarik. 2 jam jugak lah baru settle. Kami laki bini lemau melayan budak ni hide and seek and sepahkan klinik bagai. Pas settle tu baru balik, makan, and kol 2 baru gerak gi Kuantan.

Wan and Mak Ngah ikot skali gi Kuantan ni. Memang sempit lah kereta sebab ada carseat Afif lg. Masa pergi tu alhamdulillah Afif senyap je tido dalam carseat dia. Dah nak sampai baru jaga.

Sedap dia tido. Mama terkebil-kebil.

Sampai Kuantan around 5pm trus check-in kat Vistana. Memula nak lepak kat Hyatt sebab kononnya nak main pantai. Tapi tengok banyak bad review kat Tripadvisor, we changed our mind. Dok kat Vistana lagipon dalam bandar. Kitorang amek connecting room ngan Wan and Makngah kat bilik sebelah. Bilik dia cantik.. Sebab lepas refurbished. Cuma kecik sket bilik dia. Cam biasa lah budak kecik tu excited explore bilik, masuk kuar toilet and almari.

 First thing dia explore kat bilik hotel adalah jamban. Baahaha.

Malam tu gi rumah pengantin pompuan tengok diorang nikah. Diorang nikah kat dalam umah, aku dok luar je la area depan pelamin. Ntah apahal excited lebih Afif. Semua mak nenek yang ada kat situ dia salam, joget-joget, cubaan memanjat pelamin. Rakan-rakan sebaya dia plak sibok nak dekat-dekat ngan dia.. Mungkin sebab pelik tengok hearing aid dia.

 Buat rumah orang cam rumah sendiri. Gamba dia panjat pelamin tak sempat amek.

Akad nikah.

Weh aku suka gila wedding orang Pahang ni sebabnya ada ikan patin tempoyak hamagaddd.. Makan cam onggiler aku. Kalo tak mikirkan ni rumah orang, memang 3 kali kot aku tambah.

Kol 10 lebih camtu Afif nak sibok meraba nak nenen. Aku dok dalam kete breastfeed dia sambil tunggu diorang settle berinai. Dalam kol 11pm baru kitorang balik hotel. Barai la jugak weh.

Esoknya tengah hari gi reception diorang. Balik hotel melepet je kitorang. Petang tu bertegas kejotkan laki ajak gi picnic kononnya. Plan asal nak gi teluk Cempedak tapi mak haiii jam nya jalan. Last2 kitorang gi Pantai Batu Hitam which is like 15 minutes from Teluk Cempedak. Pantai lagi luas and lagi aman. Motif utama nak kasi Afif main pasir and laut. Aku tak puas hati btol masa kat Langkawi aritu dia geli pijak pasir.

Congrats Allan + Along!

 Afif dan dua pupunya, Rachel Hannah

Bila letak dia atas pasir, memula dia geli and mintak dukung. Second time aku letak je and lari cecepat. Nak tak nak dia terpaksa la berlari kejar aku. Lama-lama dia okay je. Yezza! Seronok la kami berkejaran siap laki aku beli bubbles main ngan dia. Pastu bila main air, memang bertambah suka la. Memang nampak muka dia pelik tengok air laut menerjah kaki siap berpasir-pasir. Lepastu memang ligat nak masuk dalam air. Hamboi hamboi. Aku memang tak kasi dia basah. Seluar je basah sket. Bila diajak balik, dia takmo eh. Nak masuk air jugak. Terpaksa la angkut dia masuk kete. Nasib baik takde drama.

 Happy boy discovering the world by our Creator. 

i hope you grow up to be part of the world, son. 

To see what the world has to offer. 

To appreciate.

The next day we left Kuantan at around 2pm. Sempat gak la bawak Afif berendam kat pool before check-out.

Perjalanan balik kali ni memang mencabar sebabnya Afif tanak dok dalam carseat eh.. First time aku kasi iPad dalam kete, lenguh gak tangan pegang. Bila simpan iPad, mula lah meragam. Dia either nak berpeluk ngan aku dok kat riba laki aku yang tengah drive. Maka memang tahan je la aku 3 jam tu dok blakang bersempit ngan carseat and Wan sambil riba Afif. Mak Ngah dok seat depan sebab dia besar.

All in all, we had fun. Ni yang aku teringin nak gi beach holiday lagi ni. Haih..

18 Months

My baby is one year and a half already.

Hari Rabu haritu bawak dia gi 18 months doctor's appointment. Alhamdulillah berat dah 9.4kg (a bit on the low side), tinggi dah 78cm. Head circumference aku lupa brapa. Dr. Anthony kata semua ok and Afif ni friendly and social btol. Hehe. 

Pastu kene cucuk DPTa. Dia bagaikan dah tau nasib nak kene cucuk, takmo baring atas katil doktor. Cucuk smbil dukung je. Nasib baik nanges kejap. Pasni dokter kata takde kene cucuk dah smpai la masuk skolah nanti unless nak amek optional Hepatitis A jabs masa umur 2 tahun. 

Meh bebel pasal milestone:

Feeding

-dah kurang memilih. Apa aku bagi dia telan je. Yayyy!

-babysitter kasi makan 2 kali kat umah dia: pagi n petang. So malam aku akan kasi jugak makan

-kalo ada lauk baby-friendly kat umah like masak kicap or sup ayam/sayur/ikan, aku bg je lauk tu dgn nasik. Kalo tak, aku masakkan porridge/sup/pasta/mi goreng.

-his current favorite is fried carrot noodle with tomato n salmon. Laju dan licin. Wan pon suka. 

-since aku masuk kerja ni, aku still pam kat office. Tp ebm tak cukup jugak utk bekal kat umah babysitter. So campur ngan FM. At times dia mmg reject FM. Babysitter akan ganti ngan Ribena or susu kotak Dutch Lady coklat.

Development

-berjalan nak laju aje tapi clumsy. Kadang tu laju sangat smpai tak sempat brake/lose balance pastu jatuh. Aku stress btol kalo jatuh n kepala benjol. Tapi lantak la asalkan tak mudarat.

-loves to sing and dance. Paling dia nyanyi n joget is twinkle twinkle little star, wheels on the bus and theme song Timmy Time. Suka tengok dia joget kat Timmy Time theme song.

-dia ni makin friendly plak aku tengok. Kalo mood baik tu jalan kat mall semua orang di lambai nya siap kata "haiii.." Dia ingat dia Prince George ke ape. Pastu suka jugak salam random people magadddd! 

-thankfully, bila strangers mcm sales girl or waitress panggil or nak dukung, dia taknak, siap nanges. 

Activities and hobby

-dah kurang obsess ngan iPad, alhamdulillah

-dia suka build tower block, sepak-sepak bola, main air (pantang tengok pintu toilet bukak, laju je masuk. Aku takleh lalai kene make sure pintu toilet tutup at all time), menconteng (takleh kasi magic color dah sebab nampak dia nak conteng sofa and dinding aritu)..

-suka pusing and spinning sampai pening huyung-hayang

-current fave dia adalah main hide and seek ngan aku. Bukan nyorok betol pon. Nyorok blakang dinding/pintu/kerusi bajet orang tak nampak. Baahaha. Suka betol dia smpai malam pon gigih kami nyorok nyorok.

-his current fave shows are Timmy Time, Tayo the Bus, Mickey Mouse Club House and Tom & Jerry. Kalo ada cerita2 ni memang kusyuk la the first 5 minit depan tv. Pastu sibok la cari remote tukar channel.

Hearing & Speech

-Hmm.. sebenarnye tak banyak progress sangat. His frequently pronounced sounds are aaaaa, mammamamma, and he can say "hai!" and "bye" fairly clearly
-dia dah pandai ada tune lagu. Paling obvious bila ada barang jatuh and we say "ah-haa tak tau siapa buat?" he will say "aa-aa a-a-a aaaaa.." in that sing song voice. Also bila nyanyi lagu Minion yang Banana tu, dia pandai jerit at certain part yang minion tu jerit. Hihi..
- but sounds like tatata, bababa, eeee, etc belom ada..
-my suspect is that maybe the hearing aids don't amplify certain sounds in the best way. We're currently in the process of taking audio tests to get full results. Will post about this later.

That's my baby.

Beli kain kat Jakel pon nak sorok-sorok kejar-kejar

Kisses for you

Ni masa favorite uncle dia, Uncle Redha nikah. Masa nikah pon dia sibok nak berkepit ngan Uncle.

Suka memanjat walaupon tak berapa terror lagi

The only way to get him to sit down at a mall: gi toy store and test toys

Nak bebas je kalo kat malls.

Ilyas nak suap Afif air

After about a year of tak berjumpa, dapat jugak bebudak ni jumpa masa makan-makan kat rumah Kak Yulie.

From left: Adam anak As, Ilyas anak Chuna, Aisyah anak Shim and Afif anak aku.

Hide and seek. 

The New Babysitter

This week is the second week that i'm back in the office. It also marks the 10th day that i left Afif with the new babysitter, Kak Wan.

Every morning when i leave Afif at Kak Wan's, i die a little inside. First day was no problem as i left him while he was asleep. After that.. He cries when Kak Wan hold him and sees me leaving him there. 

Masuk minggu kedua, dia dah cam rumah Kak Wan. Traffic light pon dia cam. Sampai kat traffic light depan umah akak tu, dia start muka gelabah dan buat bunyi "hmmmm.. hmmm..". Bila berenti je kereta depan rumah Kak Wan, he'd look at us sambil nangis. Siap melompat ke hubby/my SIL on the driver's side and peluk kuat-kuat sebab dia tau, aku yang akan hantar dia ke dalam rumah akak tu. Kene pujuk untuk kuar kete. Bila ditinggalkan tu memang takyah cerita la mendayu nangisnya. Sedih weh. Sedih aku.

Mula-mula cuak la jugak. Apsal anak aku menanges beriya ni. Kene dera ke ape (biasa lah paranoia aku bila tinggalkan anak).

But alhamdulillah makin lama dia makin improve. Contohnya semalam, dia tahan nanges. Dah kene dukung ngan Kak Wan baru nanges. Hari ni, takda sedih cebik dalam kereta. Kene tinggal baru nanges. Maknanya tidak lah kene dera ke apa sebabnya bila akak tu hulur tangan nak dukung, dia hulur jugak tangan walaupon terpaksa. i hope next week it'll be better for him. InsyaAllah.

Harap Kak Wan tu dapat jaga Afif sebaiknya dan pakaikan hearing aids sepanjang waktu. Harapan cerah sikit untuk Afif dapat more attention compared to the old babysitter sebab ada Afif and Zara je yang Kak Wan jaga. Zara tu pon dah 2 tahun, banyak mulut pulak. Harap Afif boleh becok and blaja bercakap jugak dari Zara tu. hehe.

To Pack Up and Leave

As i'm typing this, i'm actually in the deepest shade of green with envy. It seems like lots of my friends are on vacation/bussiness trip all over the globe. Japan, Paris, Milan, Yangon, Krabi, Mabul, Kota Kinabalu, Melbourne..

And here i am. Dealing with work and water rationing.

Sigh.

I'm becoming restless. 

My heart is longing to pack up and board the next plane ANYWHERE.

Sigh. 

I have always been a (self-proclaimed) traveller. I dont mind not having designer bags or shoes. Barang kemas tak banyak. Rumah pon tak cantik. Baju pon jarang bertukar (ok this one is not entirely true). 

But one thing i've always always made sure: i go travel. Paling kurang setahun sekali. Tak kisah la jauh ke dekat (tapi lagi jauh lagi best). Yang penting get out there. See new places and faces. Spend a bit of that hard earned money for a dose of the world. Embrace their culture. Just.. Be.

It's already April and we have no plans whatsoever to go anywhere. The biggest reason for that is, of course, money. We have to save up in case me OR my husband has to take more unpaid leave to look after Afif. And this time, if either of us take unpaid leave, it's gonna be for a long time as the goal is until Afif can talk.

Dah la kenduri kawen adik-adik aku bulan 6 ni. Takkan la akak diorang ni tak sponsor sikit pon kan?

So.. Yeah. 

Sabar je lah. At least for this year.

Bangkok and Pattaya. Our last trip with the in-laws in November 2013.

Tapi tetap berdoa supaya ada unexpected rezeki untuk melancong. 

In a Blink of an Eye

Just like that, my 3 months leave had passed.

April 1, 2014. I have officially returned to work, people!

2 weeks before returning to work, memang aku meroyan habis. Everyday membebel kat laki "how am i gonna leave Afif at homeeee? He needs meeee"

It was hard to return to work after 3 months of spending every minute with my baby. Suddenly those tiring moments of running after him, those bathroom visit with him dangling on my leg at the toilet bowl, those cheeky i-did-something-u'r-not-gonna-like smile.. They didn't matter. Coz the point is i watched my baby grow with my very two eyes. The satisfaction of  knowing he is well fed, he got enough attention, and he's happy. It's every mom's dream..

The doctor suggested my husband or i to stay at home and care for him full time as that's the best for Afif's hearing and speech development. At least until he can combine two meaningful words like "nak makan" or "naik kereta". Sampai umur dia 3 tahun camtu lah. 

Admittedly, we are still unsure of what to do. Do i take more leave or is it better if he takes the role of stay-at-home-dad by taking unpaid leave? Do i get a full-time maid to look after Afif at home where Wan could supervise? We're still figuring it out.

For now, i found a new babysitter for Afif. She cares for Afif and another girl aged 2. Hopefully he could have more attention compared to when he was with the last babysitter who has too many kids on her hands. We'll see his progress. If he progresses well, takyah la aku or husband amek cuti. If not, we'll think of something. Whatever's best for him. 

Afif's first day at the babysitter, a day before i return to work. My heart weeps everytime we left him there.

P/s: April 1 is also the first anniversary of me donning the hijab, alhamdulillah.