Slide Show

December 26, 2013

Celebrations Wiwiwi

Tak sah la kalo dah meningkat usia di hari jadi, takda celebration kan? Being celebrated, no matter how small, is enough to make a person happy. i am no exception.

On Tuesday, 24.12.13 (my birthday) i went to work like usual. Takda maknanya aku nak amek cuti semata-mata kerana birthday. Hubby plak keje syif malam the night before, apa lah maknanya aku cuti kalo dia melepek tido je nanti.

Cam bese lah, orang wish birthday kat Facebook and Whatsapp. Tersengih-sengih aku baca. 

At around 11am, aku kuar dari toilet, tetiba As ajak gi pantry. Aku dah macam "Huh?" Tak suspect langsung seprais ke hape sebab pompuan ni tak sentimental langsung orangnya. Rupanya ada a bunch of my friends nyanyi happy birthday siap dengan cupcakes 6 ketul dan lilin. Terkejut aku siap cakap "korangggg! Benci tauuu!". Malu sebenarnya. Aaaa terharu. Makan-makan potong kek sampai kenyang. Thanks Zarith, As, Yu He, Maz, and Dalilah! First time jugak aku jumpa orang same birthday ngan aku iaitu Nadia (officemate jugak tp tak brapa rapat sebab dia baru transfer masuk setahun yg lepas)


Pastu Chuna plak ajak lunch. Sempena birthday katanya. Awww.. Aku kenyang lagi makan cupcake tadi, maka kitorang melantak kat Wafflemeister je. Thanks babe!

Our waffles with dark chocolate drizzle and chocolate peanut ice cream (Chuna's) and hazelnut ice cream (mine)

Both Capricorners. Both are mothers, coffee and chocolate  lovers.

After lunch aku rasa sebu and muak gila makan cupcake and waffle dari pagi. Gila engko semua manis. Kol 3 camtu lapa nasik dan lapa benda masin. Linda plak ajak birthday treat. Weehuhu. Dia ajak makan Japanese kat Yuzu. This is HUGE for me because before this, ko jangan harap lah Linda makan Japanese.  Geli katanya. Ntah apahal dah berubah dia suka plak. Tepat kol 5pm, kitorang turun.

Fusion Sushi, Seafood Hot Platter something and Crispy Soft Shell Crab. Miso sup dan nasik tiada dalam gambar. Boleh plak aku lupa bergambar dengan Linda.

Thanks babe. i love you so much!

Petang tu balik umah cam bese lah. Aku dah call Mr. Chenta mintak amek anak kol 6pm sebab aku lambat tapi bila smpai je LRT (kakak amek aku), dia kata laki aku tak amek anak lagi. Time tu kol 7.15pm dah. Sabar je la. Maka aku pon amek Afif.

Birthday girl kan, good mood, idok ler aku sentap ngan laki aku. Balik tu makan cam bese pastu main ngan Afif. Tetiba pintu umah terbukak pastu Kakak, Faizal and Redha datang bawak kek ada banyak lilin nyanyi Happy Birthday. Sumpah terkejut weh. Awwwww sangat. Potong kek gitu-gitu je lah. Rupanya Mr. Chenta suh diorang gi beli kek. Muahaha sejak bler ntah pandai surprise-surprise ni.



Typo. Sebenarnya 2nd anniversary hokayyy! 

Time ni la kek tu hancur sebab Afif geram. Kasi chance dia potong kek sebab birthday dia aritu tak potong kek ponnn..


The next day tu Christmas day. Public holiday. Memang allocate hari ni untuk dating ngan Hubby Baby. Kol 1pm camtu bila Afif tengah afternoon nap dia, kitorang keluar. Nak gi Pavi sebab aku dah lama gila tak menjejakkan kaki ke sana. Wrong move coz the traffic was so bad hamagaddd. Sejam baru smpai Pavi from Wangsa Maju.

Sampai-sampai memang lapa gila weh. Cadangnya nak tengok The Hobbit tapi full house la. Terus serbu Tony Roma's. Tried their lamb ribs sedap hamagaddd! Hubby Baby order pasta tapi so-so je lah.

Lamb ribs, onion loaf and chicken alfredo pasta.

Tengah jalan pon jadi lah.

A while back Hubby Baby tanya aku nak birthday present apa. Aku cakap takmo pape. Simpan duit coz we need to save up. Tapi pastu aku tarik balik kenyataan itu dan kata aku nak jewelry. Wiwiwiwi.. Maka after lunch aritu kami ke Pandora. Pilih yang basic je tak sampai hati ketuk berlebihan kang next year dia takmo kasi hadiah pulak. Baahaha.

First Pandora evah!

That's the story of my 28th birthday. Though small and far from glamorous, these celebrations made me realized that i'm surrounded by good people, the ones that i love who love me back. Thanks korang!

To my Hubby Baby, happy second anniversary. You made me the luckiest girl alive when you made me your wife. i pray that our love strengthen with every passing day, through thick and thin till Jannah. In shaa Allah. Amin.

28

24.12.2013

i turned 28.

Tiba-tiba dah 28 tahun. Rasa macam minggu lepas tunggu bas kat bus stop UMS lepas kelas. Macam semalam baru report duty nak masuk keje. Haih.

When i was younger, i was afraid of growing up. Afraid to lose my playfulness, my freedom and my youth. Afraid of being an adult.

Fast forward to now. Yes, responsibility and commitment replace playfulness. Being a wife and a mother replace being reckless and being free. My once-youthful face now has fine lines.

But guess what?

i have also learnt that none of that matters.

i'm still playful especially when i'm around kids and my husband.
The responsibility and commitment that i was so scared of? They give me stable income, a house, a car and what i need to live comfortably.
Being a wife and mother made me realize the happiness that shopping, traveling, and going out till late give you is nothing compared to the happiness of waking up to your husband and baby next to you. And those stolen kisses and toothy grins.
i have accepted that my face and body will sag and get wrinkly but we always have SKII, all those magic portions and cardio workouts to help us stay young and healthy.

Alhamdulillah.

i am in a happy place. Life is not perfect but i am content with what i have.

Syukran ya Allah.



December 12, 2013

Demam Lagi

Afif has been having flu and runny nose ever since we got back from Bangkok. Memula selsema and runny nose je. Kesian btol budak bila idong sumbat. Makan and minom pon payah..

Last two days dia mula batuk. Babysitter Whatsapp kata dia nanges all day, muntah kahak dan takmo makan. Malam tu payah tido. Muntah. Pagi bangon, suara dia serak dah.

Semalam ingat nak bawak dia gi paed kitorang slalu gi iaitu Dr. Shanaliza. Tapi tutup plak. Oh, semalam jugak adalah Afif's second speech therapy session. Aku memang amek halfday la semalam sebab nk bawak dia gi klinik dan terapi.

Malam tadi dia demam suhu yang panas. Muntah dua kali. Merengek. Lepas bagi ubat demam, baru tido. Tapi itu pon clingy gila stok peluk aku, kalo aku gerak sket dia terus terjaga.

Pagi ni still teruk jugak batuk. Aku bawak dia gi klinik Dr. Nadir nak sedut kahak. Aku panggil klinik tu "Baby's Torture Chamber" sebab segala budak yang gi situ konfem nanges bila kene nebulizer dan sedut kahak/hingus tu. Selalunya husband yang pegang Afif masa neb tp dia kerja harini. Jadi, aku la tukang pegang. Sedih tengok dia miserable. Kali ni dia tak menangis meraung, dia just nanges perlahan macam sedih kenapa lah mama aku buat aku camni. Sorry, sayang. Mama wants you to get better.

Pastu dia termenung je. Ni dah tido. Pheww..

Dr. Nadir kata baby kalo banyak travel and naik flight/dok hotel memang senang sakit. Sebabnye centralizd airconds kat dlm airplane and hotel rooms circulate all kinds of virus/bacteria from all kinds of people. Memang salah aku la jugak.  The past few weeks memang banyak travel. Perth, Bangkok, Kota Bharu.. Ni weekend ni nak fly ke Langkawi pulak. Haih.. Sorry Afif. Starting next year kte tak ke mana-mana dah.

Sejak Afif dah besar ni, banyak kali selsema n demam. Sedih la. Bila jadi camni sebolehnya i wanna be there with him, jaga dia. It means i have to take time off work. i feel so torn between work and my baby. Lebihkan family makes me look like an incompetent staff. Being a working mom makes me a bad mom. How lah..

Sayang, get well soon please. Mama is so worried.

December 2, 2013

Bad Sunday

My Sunday was terrible. 

Woke up at 7am becoz Afif demanded to play. I'm having flu and terrible headache at the same time. My husband has to work all day. Takpe lah cam tak biasa plak jaga anak sensorang kan.. *muncung*

Pastu all day Afif cranky. Itu tak kena, ini tak kena. Memula okay pakai hearing aid tapi lelama even the sight of it made him cry. Kene rasuah dengan Barney di iPad everytime nak pakaikan HA baru dia tak nanges which pissed me off because iPad is the last thing i want him to use. Aku kan paranoid sket pasal side effect gadget ni. Sigh.

So kene berusaha lebih sket supaya dia tak ngadap bende alah tu. Aku main kejar-kejar lah, nyorok2 lah, tatih segenap pelosok rumah.. Bawak dia walk around the block 2 sessions. All the while with pounding head, runny nose and sweaty armpits. A glamorous mom, i am.

Dia bila cranky gini memang nak kat aku sorang lah. Bila orang lain amek, nanges lagi kuat. Seriously satu house work pon aku tak sempat nak buat sbb mengadap Afif and his crankiness. I guess sebab gigi atas dia tumbuh 4 (tapi macam 6) batang skali gus.

Malam plak kuar gi makan celebrate hub's 28tg birthday with the whole family. Tak enjoy langsung makan sebab Afif cranky takmo dok dalam baby chair. Nak berdukung ja hamagaddd..

Malam tu tanak tido plak walaupon dia ngantok. Lawan mata. Nanges je even though aku berkali-kali offer nenen. Masukkan dalam buai terus lelap. Aku masuk balik bilik sebab ngantok and penat sangat seharian tak rehat. Around 2am, SIL bawak dia masuk bilik aku. Memula breastfeed ok. Pastu dia terjaga dan nanges lagi macam kene dera. Badan dia panas sket. Aku bukak baju and lap badan dia ngan kain basah. Pastu baru dia tido smpai pagi.

Pagi tadi episod meraung kat umah babysitter dan peluk aku kuat-kuat. Dia tak pernah camni. Sigh.

Now i'm at work, still dealing with my pounding head, empty stomach and sleepy eyes. Dah la masuk lambat sebab settlekan Afif punya pasal. Haih.

i don't know how stay at home moms do it. i felt like locking myself in the room and cry cry cry and even thought about going out and leave Afif at home with Wan because i got so stressed. i feel bad for even feeling this way. But alhamdulillah boleh lagi la kawal emosi tak jerit, tengking or cubit/pukul dia.

i love my son but sometimes i just can't stand motherhood.

Sigh.

OK lah tu je entry emo aku. Please tell me i'm not the only one feeling like a bad mom. Hopeless.






Ini semua gambar on Saturday, when he's his normal gigly can't-do-nothing-wrong self. 
Mama loves you baby, in good or bad times. She just wishes she can deal with her emotions better.