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July 30, 2013

Iftar with Besties

Nowadays it's almost impossible to go out and socialize. i can't barely go on a date with my husband, let alone go out with friends. Being a mother tend to do that to your social life but i ain't complaining.

i have not seen my girfriends in a while. Whatsapp diorang pon kadang-kadang tak terbalas sebab busy dengan kerja, suami dan anak. Gotta admit i feel a little left out but it's my fault la jugak. So when the day comes that i can finally go out for a night of girly time, of course i'm ultra excited! Shaq came to pick me up at 6pm and we went straight to BSC. Had iftar at House + Co coz Shaf was craving for their caramalised prawn.

Our iftar at House + Co:
Stuffed mushroom
Verdict: i expected it'll be like the yummy ones at Italiannies but was left disappointed. Just mushroom with cream cheese and partly wrapped in turkey slice.

 Assam pedas ikan senangin
Verdict: Nothing wow. The one at Cozy Corner, Great Eastern Mall is way better.

Egg tofu
Verdict: Yummy!

Caramalised Prawn
Verdict: Yummy but too sweet for my liking. Makan seekor dah cukup.

Then of course we cam-whored like crazy! Dalam toilet lah mana lagi nak jadi vain.

We then went to Haagen Dazs Solaris for dessert because i wanted their ice cream with warm waffle (yum!). Imagine my disappoinment when the staff said mesin buat waffle rosak! Uwaaa.. i settled for flower cone with ice cream je lah.

Dalam kol 10.30pm baru gerak balik. Melepak berborak catching up sampai lupa kejap anak dan suami di rumah padahal janji nak balik by 10pm hewhewhew. On the way balik tu Mr. Chenta call anak meragam katanya. Hamagad rasa bersalah. Sampai rumah tengok diorang elok je lepak tapi nampak la mata Afif kuyu nak tido. When he saw me he was so excited melonjak lonjak sambil membebel bebel suara sedih macam mengadu "Mama tau tak Afif lost sangat. Mama ni kenapa tinggal Afif.. Sedih tau tak nak tido takde nenen!". Hubby said he refused to sleep. Hai lah anak manja. Sejak lahir tak pernah tido tanpa mamanya.. Rasa bersalah pula balik lambat. Sorry ye sayang..

i had fun with my girls. i seriously miss them, miss talking about boys and miss going out but that's life. You were a student, then a worker. You were young and single but then grow older, found The One and have a family. i'm just glad that i have an understanding husband who knows the importance of girl's time and have no problem looking after our child so i can have my time off.

Til next girlfriends outing!

July 29, 2013

Salmon Porridge

Last weekend i decided to cook something a lil' bit special for Afif; Salmon Porridge with Veggies

As many of you would know, salmon is fortified with good fats particularly Omega 3 and also DHA. Many research conducted show that fishes especially salmon can make your baby smarter, imrpove vision, enhance immunity and help prevent eczema.

With these qualities i decided why not give it a try. Selama ni Afif's main source of protein are ikan bilis dan ayam je pon. Ikan pernah try bagi sekali je iaitu ikan kembong. Lalu gigih la beli ikan salmon dua ketul kat Giant. 2 ketul RM13. Murah la compared to Isetan seketul RM24.

Resipi dia mudah ajo. Macam selalu aku buat porridge Afif la cuma kali ni tukar ngan salmon.

Salmon setengah ketul (aku suka part kat belly dia tu sebab ada lemak yg sedap)
1 biji bawang sederhana kecik
1 ulas garlic
4 ekor ikan bilis saiz sederhana
Segenggam beras

Cara masak:
Tumis bawang, garlic dan ikan bilis dalam butter. Agak2 dah masak, masukkan beras yg dah dibasuh lalu masukkan air. Tunggu 2/3 masak (agak-agak 45 minit). Masukkan kentang, carrot dan broccoli. Kemudian masukkan salmon. Tunggu masak sepenuhnya. Siap! Blend jika mahu.

Make sure segala tulang di buang masa memotong mendadu salmon tu. Ada setengah orang rebus salmon berasingan. Ada jugak yg grill salmon tu berasingan. Tapi aku prefer masukkan skali dalam bubur supaya segala rasa dan good fat salmon tu terus meresap ke dalam bubur.

Ececeyy tuan kecik sempat jeling camera sebelom makan.

July 25, 2013

His Current Hobby

Nowadays Afif loves to go for car rides.. and instists to drive!

Sorry mister, but you're 18 years too young to drive.

Other than that, he's very much obsessed with food, Astro remote control (drives everyone mad by changing the channel 100 times per minute), boobs, and books, with Mirror Me remains his favorite one.

Lazy Sunday activity.

Anyway, last weekend i made him porridge. What i changed this time was instead of extra virgin olive oil, i sauteed onions and anchovies with butter. Put in some rice and water. Wait to boil. When the porridge is almost ready, i put in potato, carrot and broccoli. Wait to cook. And this is the result:

The smell is divine, i tell you. Must've been the butter. Kurang pahala puasa.
Oh, but of course i blended it. Afif makan selera siap bertambah lagi masa lunch and dinner.

July 22, 2013

21 Years On.. But i'm Okay

Today is 22 July 2013.

It marks the 21st anniversary of my mama's death.

21 years.

When you put it like that, when you see the numbers like that, you'll suddenly realized that "Wow.. It has been THAT long?"

i was barely 7 years old when Mama passed away. Faizal was 6 and Redha was 3. i remember that day vaguely. i remember it like a third person's point of view. It was around noon. My brothers and i were playing at the yard with our neighbour when the maid called us in. That time Unyang was still alive. She was crying and wailing and said "Mama dah takdeee.." i was confused. i don't know how but then i got it. i understood that she's no longer alive. i remember crying.

The rest of the story like the majlis tahlil, the burial, people crying.. i can't remember any of that. It's like it's been erased from my brain. i later learnt that human brain can erase painful memories to protect you. But i knew it happened. Because a hell lot of people LOVES my mom.

And Papa.. i know he was devastated. Heart broken. Because from that day until his last breath he always talked about Mama. Sing about her. He even had this one room in his clinic -  a room full of Mama's photos and clothes and stuff. Like a shrine for her. He'd cry whenever he's in there.

So from that day onwards, we became motherless. Yes, we have a few mother-figures. But still, not our Mama.

21 years is a long time.

i must say i don't know how it feels to have a mother.

To be in school and say "Mama.. Tadi kan si Polan curi pemadam kittewwww"
To be away in college and say "Cepat la cuti sem. i miss my mother's cooking!".
To be a teenager and say "Mommm let's go shopping!".
To be a bride-to-be and shop wedding stuff with her.
To be a mom and say "Maa.. i'm coming home for berbuka bawak cucu awak ni haa.."

i missed out a lot.

21 years is a long time.

With time, i learn to accept. i understand that no matter how unfair it is, this is my qada' and qadar. With time, i have grown and learn that being motherless is hard, but not impossible. i just hope my chlidren won't go through what i went through.

i never heal. A wound like this never heals. But i'm okay now.

Your little girl had grown. i love makeup like you did but rarely wear them. Love fashion like you did but now that i'm donning the hijab, i'm still trying to find tune and experiment. You have a grandson now. He's almost hairless like i was when i was a baby, looks a bit like me but thank God he gets my husband's nose. Faizal and Redha are okay but you really need to give Redha a lecture plus a scream. Overall, everything's okay. Please know that i miss you. Every single day.


*  *  *

i hope you can recite al-Fatihah for my Mama, Salbiah bt. Samsudin. Thanks.
July 17, 2013

My Ramadhan So Far

Alhamdulillah. It's the eighth day of Ramadhan. i hope it's not too late to wish you selamat berpuasa!

My Ramadhan so far adalah biasa-biasa aja. Untung duduk dengan family.. Balik kerja, amik Afif kat babysitter, sampai rumah tengok dah siap masak lauk pauk. Tunggu waktu berbuka tinggal nak hidang juadah/buat air je.. Utmost respect to you girls out there who have to jaga anak and sediakan makanan untuk iftar lagi. Even kalo beli kat bazaar pon is a chore. Ye lah dengan traffic jam lagi.. huhu.

Tahun ni nan hado lah nampak nya chance nak berjemaah teraweeh kat surau. Ye lah, dengan anak kecik ni camne lah kekdahnye kan. Niat nak teraweeh di rumah je tapinya kol 9pm dah terlelap sama bila Afif menetek. Haih.. Takpa, ada lagi 3 minggu. Cuba lagi! InsyaAllah tahun depan Afif dah besar sikit boleh la di ajar ke surau.

Milk production adalah sedikit menyedihkan. For the first 6 days okay je la. Dapat la jugak 5oz first session. Second session dapat 2-3oz je. Kemerosotan 5 oz jugak la sehari. On weekend tak mengepam tapi rasanya ok sebab tengok Afif puas je minom. Tapi semalam lain cerita. Gi pam kol 12pm dapat tak sampai 3oz. Paling corot setakat ni. Mula lah panik. Ye la, skang Afif boleh dikira fully breastfeed sebabnya walaupon dah try campur, dia memang taknak minom fm. Enfalac yang dibeli almost 2 months tak abis lagi. Dia nak susu mama. So nak tak nak kene pam at least 9oz sehari to meet his demand. Stok kat umah tak banyak hoi. Ade 1-2 botol camtu je. Panik.

Call Mr. Chenta dia suruh je buka kalo risau. Tapi ko tau lah mentality org kita (cakap je la mentality aku). Walopon dibolehkan dan disenangkan, tapi nak jugak pilih jalan susah (e.g teruskan puasa). Aku cam sayang nak buka sebab dah separuh hari. Pastu dengar cerita nursing mothers lain ok je puasa. Berbelah bagi aku. Pastu aku jmpa la sorang colleague ni. Dia cerita lah dulu dia ponteng puasa 5 hari sebab mmg production drop dan memang tak larat. She said i have two choices:

1) tukar fm brand lain kalau sayang sangat puasa tu.

2) buka puasa dan lain kali give yourself a break every 5-7 days of fasting to help maintain milk production. Puasa tu boleh je ganti.

In the end, kol 12.45pm semalam aku turun gi foodcourt tapau nasik campur. Lauk ayam masak lemak dan sayur pucuk manis. Kemudian gi Starbucks yang dah hampir setahun aku boikot tu sebab teringin White Choc Pudding Mocha Frap dia. Perghhh siap ade frap! Wagahaha. Makan kat surau. Lega rasa. Bak kata laki aku, alang-alang tak puasa, sental je semua. Petang tu pam, dapat 7oz. Berbaloi buka.

Hari ni sahur aku makan nasi dan juga buat smoothie Shaklee ESP+muesli+kurma+susu+susu coklat dengan harapan the oats and dates can help boost production. Harap berjaya. Amin.

July 3, 2013

Totally Random

1. On Monday ntah hape hal tetiba menggigil satu badan. Beriya menggigil terketap-ketap gigi. Kepala berdenyut sakan. Mata rasa panas. Demam kot. Kol 3 terus aku balik umah. Tido.

2. Selasa aku MC sebab demam lagi. Kol 9 hantar Afif ke rumah babysitter. Ikot hati takmo hantar tapi kalo tak hantar maka tak dapat la aku rehat. Aku tengok movie. Aku tido. Tapi tak lena sebab teringat anak. Kebah sket demam, i don't see any point trying to sleep. Aku bangun cuci toilet, kemas bilik sikit-sikit. Tak tahan kol 4.15pm aku terpacak kat rumah babysitter nak amek Afif.

3. Dulu aku tak paham camne sayang seorang ibu kepada anak. Sekarang aku paham. Demam pon tak lena tido ingat anak. Macam Monday tu, memang balik kol 3, tido. Tapi tido setengah jam je. Teringat Afif terus bangun buatkan porridge untuk dia. i never knew i could be so selfless.

4. Yeayyy Afif dah suka makan porridge. Sebelum ni 2 attempt aku gagal. First time makan tapi sikit je. Sebab tak suka kot. Second time memang reject terus. Continue je la bagi fruits and vege puree. Third time was on Monday. Aku tumis ikan bilis dan bawang dalam extra virgin olive oil. Dah agak-agak garing aku masukkan beras dan air. Dah 3/4 masak, aku masukkan carrot. Siap, aku blend. Licin Afif makan. Selera betol. Siap nganga mulut badan ke depan mintak disuap lagi dan lagi. Bertambah pulak tu. Haaa.. Sesapa yang perli anak aku mat salleh, tengok lah! Anak aku terbukti Jawa-Minang-Melanau.

5. Dua tiga hari ni aku angau betol kat lagu True Love by Pink ft. Lily Ellen. Aku rasa kena betol dengan husband-wife relationship. i love my husband dearly but sometimes he drives me mad. Bangun lambat lah. Sebok ngan iPad la. Tak romantik lah. Ape lah. But i love love love him. Hehe. Cuba korang dengar lagu ni.

6. Haritu ada beli Storycard by Wedoo kat Groupon. Last two weeks sampai yeayyy! Kualiti okay, cuma memang kecik lah.. Besar daun terup gitu. Ok lah dengan harga RM28. Senang aku bawak ke mana-mana. Looking at the pictures always bring me down the memory lane. Ada gamba 3D ultrasound dia sampai la umur 8 bulan. Kejap je masa berlalu. Sekarang ada lagi deal tu kat Groupon. Kalo berminat, beli lah!

7. Next week puasa dah. Gila cepat masa berjalan. To be honest, last year masa mengandong aku 7 hari tinggal puasa dan sampai skang tak ganti-ganti lagi. Aku try ganti tapi sumpah la lapa gila tahap nak pitam sebab breastfeed kot. Pasni terpaksa la bayar fidyah. Jangan tiru macam saya!

8. Afif skang extra clingy ngan aku. Tapi nasib baik la still nak kat orang lain and tak nanges kalo dengan strangers. Tapinya dia still tak merangkak atau army crawl lagi. Golek-golek je. Pastu slalu demand nak duduk dan berdiri. Itsokay, no rush. Plenty of time to develop!

9. Aku dah tempah dua baju raya. Tapi ntah hapa hal aku rasa cam tak cukup je. Padahal selama ni aku tempah satu je.Itu pon sebab nak posing Raya katanya. Should i buy more? Tapi aku bukan suka berbaju kurung ponnn..

10. Dah sminggu ngidam burger kat Wondermilk. Tapi asyik tak sempat pegi. somi keje je on weekend. Weekdays lak aku keje. Balik malas dah nak kuar. Tapi tak kira kene jugak gi before puasa!