Slide Show

June 27, 2014

A Bit Emotional Today

i'm sure most of you have heard about adik Muhammad Firdaus Dullah yang ditinggalkan dalam keadaan teramat kotor dan teramat kurus kering. Ya Allah bila aku nampak snippet berita itu di Facebook memang berair mata aku. Tak sanggup tengok video yang di-upload.

Anyway, i'm not here to judge or bash the mom. Biar lah keyboard warriors dan masyarakat umum memaki dia di serata Malaysia. Yes, what she did is beyond cruel and the biggest punishment is the shame and guilt she's in, abandoning her OKU son like that. Tapi sape la aku untuk layak memaki hamun dia kan. Something must've gone wrong somewhere for the mother to suddenly abandon him like that (but 'kesempitan hidup' is definitely not the acceptable reason). And i hope and pray that i will NOT turn into that kind of mother whatever the reason is. Nau'zubillah min zalik.

Bila nampak adik tu, aku teringat Afif. Yes my son, Afif. He's OKU too. Thankfully he's only deaf, bukan lah ada cerebral palsy, autism, etc. 

Afif, oh God, Afif..
Mama loves you so much.
You're perfect to me in your imperfection.
i thought i have loved my best when i fell in love with your daddy but you prove that there's a whole new kind of unconditional love.

i pray to Allah that i can be the best mother for you.
To protect you.
To raise you whole.
To raise you as a good Khalifah.
To not abandon you in any way; emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
To love you in good times, and especially in the hard times. (God knows how hard it is sometimes)
To always have patience.
And hopefully to not die before you can survive on your own for i know how lost it is to live without parents.

Amin, ya Rabb. Amin.
Semoga panjang jodoh kita.

 Berhingus ke, banyak akal ke, malas gosok gigi ke, Mama sayang Afif.

Macam pompuan ke, suka dera Barney (and Mama) ke, pekak ke.. Mama sayang Afif.

June 25, 2014

LDM Day 16

This long distance marriage thing is no kidding.

Maaf lah i'm a bit whiny in this post. Ni first time berjauhan ngan suami. Memang aku meroyan sket.

First there's this i-miss-my-husband issue. It feels so strange not being able to call him at work just because i want to call him. Because he's always on the plane, we can't promptly reply each other's Whatsapp. Our Whatsapp thread looks a bit like this:

 Me: baby.. Makan apa tu dinner 

*no response*8 hour later* 

Husband: Hey baby baru sampai ni, baru habis breakfast and check in hotel.

Kejap kat Quito, kejap Sao Paulo, kejap Brasilia, kejap San Jose..

And do not get me started on the time difference. Our time difference vary from 11 hour to 13 hours depending of his wherabout. Time dia bangon, aku tido. Dia tido, aku tengah siang. Nowadays i go to work with bags under my eyes as a result of staying up bergayut telepon sampai 2-3am. Rindu katanya, bergayut la macam time mula bercinta dulu.

Afif pulak macam rindu je daddy dia. Lepas 2 hari laki aku takde, dia dah start ada perangai. Clingy, cepat sentap terus nanges, tantrum. Start develop perangai suka hantuk kepala kat dinding and lantai. Dulu aku tak percaya budak-budak reti rindu rindu ni. Tapi bila aku ada anak sendiri, yes it happens. Yang stress tu bila Facetime tak pulak dilayan daddy dia. Jual mahal. Memang kene banyak je sabar layan perangai anak. 

Dah la haritu kenduri kawen adik aku. Nak kene layan tetamu lagi, jaga Afif lagi. Memang tak glam langsung la aku. Pakai flats je senang nak kejar anak. Not to mention bawak Afif gi appoinment audio, speech therapy and music class without my husband. Nasib baik ada adik ipar aku. Dia la banyak menolong. Tapi ye la kan mana sama ngan suami sendiri.

Pastu aku skang dengar sappy love songs aje. Haih. i'm sappy like that.

But i'm really happy for him. Keje dia jarang dapat travel. Tup tup dapat travel gi tempat exotic cam Latin America ni. Dia gi hiking la, tengok carnival la (tahap macam dlm cter Rio tu orang pakai bra and spender je tepi jalan) and he shopped! Laki aku cheapskate jarang betol shopping. So it's good to see another part of him. Walopon sebenarnya jeles jugak kan. Hihi.

Dah, dah. Come back, be here. We miss you. 

Bini yang Meroyan.

June 11, 2014

Afif's Hearing Journey

As you probably know, Afif is hearing impaired.

After a long time of pondering, i have created a blog to specifically record his journey to sounds, to hear and listen and his journey to speak and talk. 

The blog is fairly new. i have lots of ideas for it but being a working mom, memang tak banyak masa la terluang untuk edit blog. Pelan-pelan kayuh la.

Hopefully, parents of deaf or hard-to-hear child/ren can also find the blog helpful. There are not many blogs about raising hard-of-hearing children by our fellow Malaysians, so i hope this blog could make up for the statistics.

p/s: if you know any group/websites/blogs for/about deaf children or parents of deaf children, do let me know.

June 9, 2014

Halfway Around The World

Last two weeks my husband came home from work and told me an unusual news; he has to go outstation. 

Unusual because in his line of work, there's rarely chance to travel. 

Naturally i was excited for him. He, on the other hand, was not. He's worried about Afif and i as he's supposed to take a long time off work to look after Afif. Dia kata kesian nanti aku kene jaga Afif sorang. 

Bless my husband for being selfless.

We talked about it. I assured him that we'll be okay. He can cuti after the trip. We'll manage. This is a good opportunity for his career development and he should just take it. Go! Dont worry, go.

After lots of convincing, baru dia okay and excited nak gi. 

At work, i found myself typing "how to survive long distance marriage" into Google search. So much for being a strong, independent wife.

And the guessing game began..

Where would he be posted?

Brasil? Lagos? Algeria? Equador? Jeddah?

For how long? A month? Whattt kene extend 3 bulan?

When will he leave? This week? Next week? Sempat ke lepas wedding adik adik aku?

He left this morning.

Tentatively for 3 weeks. God forbid it'll be extended. Please, no. 

Memang next weekend dia takda la masa wedding adik adik aku.


This is the first time we've been apart for this long since getting married. Needless to say, i'm feeling lost. 

He has not even yet reached his destination and i already am missing him like crazy.

As for Afif.. Takda perasaan pon masa hantar daddy dia pagi tadi. Sibok main escalator (-____-)

I can only pray that he's always safe from harm, under the Almighty's guidance and care. Semoga takde flight attendants or hot Latina kat sana ngorat dia ke ape. Semoga i am given the strength to look after my never-out-of-energy-and-banyak-akal toddler. Semoga cepat boleh jumpa.


P/s: kalo outstation London/Paris/Australia memang aku amek je cuti panjang ikot dia ke sana.