Sleeping Beauties

There's something serene about watching a baby sleep. I bet all mothers would agree to this.

But watching my two babies sleeping and cuddling like this night after night makes my heart bursts with happiness and gratitude. 

I love how Afif needs to hug or just hold Dhani's hand to help him fall asleep. And i love how Dhani sleeps better with his big bro hugging him (tho he hates it when Afif gentel2 his fingers. Haha).

Mama prays that you boys will have each other's back. Through thick and thin, baby.

LDM Day 5

Mr. Chenta and i are in another round of long distance marriage (LDM in short). This time it would last around 2 months *wail*nanges meraung tak cover line dah*

Sigh. 

I guess the timing is good. Ngam-ngam i'm the middle of my unpaid leave so that the kids will have one parent's undivided attention. The extra money that he earns comes in handy too tengah2 aku takde gaji ni. 

And i guess kali ni keje dia mulia sket. Aircraft maintenance team for flights taking people going to/from Jeddah for hajj. InshaAllah ada lah tercalit sket bahagian dia dpt lebih pahala. 

Tapi luka dan sepi di hati sape tau weh. Dah la dapat tau kene gi tu last minit. Kol 6ptg dapat tau, kol 9mlm dah gerak ke airport. Tak sempat nak pikir ape, tetibe laki aku dah fly. 

Malam tu aku mampu hantar dia kat KL Central je. Tak brani gamble bawak 2 orang budak ni drive sorang from KLIA tengah2 malam. Dibuatnya Dhani melalak tengah MEX tu dah satu hal nak stop camne.

As i'm currently a SAHM, memang terasa la ketiadaan dia. Usually the highlight of my day is waiting for him to get back from work. Temankan dia makan, lepak kejap and talk about our days. Sambung pillow talk sampai terlelap. Now i don't really have anything to look forward to except for the day that he returns. Days are starting to blend together. Anak-anak je la penghibur. 

So far dah 4 hari dia kat sana, sehari 2-3 kali facetime. I insist dengan alasan anak-anak rindu. Padahal bini dia ni clingy. Bahaha #clingywife #dontjudgeme

Pastu tetiba aku kene jadi tukang buang sampah, cuci botol Afif, tukang vacuum, tukang cuci toilet, kene pikir pasal minyak kete, patut ke tak cuci kete, mane ke pegi bil api, air, astro, streamyx bagai, pampers and susu anak ade stok lagi ke tak.. All this while my husband takes care of all that.

*nanges*

*wails*

Semoga baik-baik saja suami aku nun jauh disana dan semoga diberikan kesabaran dan kekuatan aku dok umah jaga dua orang budak ni haa. 

November, please come fast!

Dhani at 5 Months

Pejam celik dah 5 bulan umur Dhani. Dulu sebelom ada Dhani i always wondered; is it possible to love my other children because ALL my love is for Afif. Ade ke lagi kasih sayang utk anak lain (pretty stupid, i know). That is silly because the moment the doctor put Dhani on my chest, came this huge HUGE bubble of love for him.

And MasyaAllah, Dhani is such an easy, lovely, cuddly and happy baby. What's not to love?

As of today, at exactly 5 months he weighs 8.5kg.  i know sebab baru timbang siang tadi haha. Lenguh gak la tangan dukung si Shebab ni. Bak kata Dr. Basha (Afif's speech therapist) kene tukar-tukar tangan kalo dukung Dhani. Kalo tak memang salah urat *nanges* 

He now wears mostly 6mth size clothes, baju budak setahun pon dia muat. Pampers dah kene pakai saiz L ye. Sama saiz ngan Afif. Senang mama daddy takyah pening banyak-banyak saiz haha.

Alhamdulillah he's still fully breastfed. Lelagi la skang aku unpaid leave ni lama. Memang direct je susu whenever wherever. 

 

Acara wajib dalam kereta.

At 2.5 months young.

Developmental Milestone

Dhani started to roll over by himself at almost 3 months, tapi tak reti nak roll back terlentang. Masa 3.5 bulan baru reti golek-golek without help. Sekarang kalo dibiarkan atas katil tu memang segala penjuru la dia sampai. Memang takleh tinggal sorang takot jatuh je. 

Skang dia suka buat pondok (bak kata Wan). Dah reti angkat badan dalam position nak merangkak tapi bila try nak ke depan, dia tersembam. Haha! In a few weeks (days?) merangkak la kot budak ni.

He's been having separation anxiety these past few weeks. He's okay with strangers if i'm around. Tapi kalo aku takde, dia mula la gelisah mencari. Kalo nampak aku dari jauh or dengar suara, cepat dia jerit macam mintak aku selamatkan dia. Bahaha.

Suka kene riba/dukung/pegang (don't all babies?) tapi yang penatnya bila org pegang dia berdiri, dia bounce-bounce badan, especially kalo nampak Afif tengah melompat. Haha.

Likes & Dislikes

Suka mandi. Abes dia paddle kaki splash splash kalo mandi.

 Water baby.

Suka bercakap. His favourite word now is tah-tah-tah-*menyembur air liur*-tah-tah-tah. Haha

Alhamdulillah, he's not deaf. At least that's we observe as of now. Tido pon kejap-kejap sebab senang terjaga kalo ada bunyi (bunyi pintu pon nak terjaga haih).

Suka tengok orang makan, sambil air liur dia meleleh dan telan air liur pastu sibuk nak grab makanan orang. Haha.

Suka main ba-ba cak!

Suka dengar & tengok videoclip The Sound Song (Thomas & Friends). Kalo pasang video lain idok dier heran. 

Suka bila aku nyanyi Twinkle twinkle. Especially when i together with Afif buat show depan dia. Sengih manjang tak berkelip mata.

Dia sayang betol kat Afif. The way he stares at Afif when Afif does something (lari, lompat, gelak-gelak, bercakap) macam abang dia tu la idola dia. Yang Afif pulak, dia memang sayang Dhani. Tapi selalu la jugak tiba-tiba Dhani kene lepuk/cucuk mata/himpit/tunggang dek Afif. Stress aku kalo jadi gini.

Hobi dia adalah golek-golek breastfeed dengan Mama. Kadang bukan minom betol pon. We just lie there, making faces at each other. Haha.

Dhani budak yang tak banyak ragam. Setakat ni, we brought him along for all of Afif's audiology and speech therapy appointment and he never made a scene. Staff kat I-HEARS sume puji baik nye lahai budak ni. Bawak kuar pon senang. Cuma dia tak brapa gemar lama-lama dok dalam stroller. It's not a problem coz i prefer to babywear him anyway. Malam pon tak meragam. Cari susu, dah dapat tido la dia. Sebab dia Shebab, memang jadi bantal pelok aku la. haha.

Banyak list of yang dia suka kan. Kecik lagi, so aku blom discover apa yang dia tak suka.

Dia tak suka minom pakai botol. Ni la bahana apabila mama dia dok umah jaga dia. Kemana aku gi pon kene bawak dia sbb bf. Camne ntah aku nak train pakai botol balik ni ha.

At 3.5 months

Berkampung kat HUKM temankan Afif lepas operation CI dia.

My boys.

Hobi dia jugak adalah tengok Afif main.

Randomly, i woke up at night to find them cuddling like this. Sejuk hati mama.

Pantang nampak makanan.

Senyuman pujaan hati Mama.

"Engko ni over la, bang. Ni post pasal aku ko tau?"

Kacau orang solat.

All in all, alhamdulillah, Dhani is growing up well and in good health. Looking at his  obsession with food, i think i'll start feeding him at 5.5 months. We'll see.

Semoga terus membesar jadi anak soleh, budak bijak and happy happy je, ok sayang? 

Mama loves you so much, you have no idea.

Like I'm Gonna Lose You

Memalam ni emo plak.

Sebak je dengar lagu ni.

Because i've lost my two biggest love - my PARENTS.

It was long ago but the pain never really goes away.

i know what we have are all loaned by the Almighty.

So i'm praying that my husband and sons.. They will be loaned to me for a long time.



"In the blink of an eye
Just a whisper of smoke
You could lose everything
The truth is you never know

So I'll kiss you longer baby
Any chance that I get
I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets

Let's take our time
To say what we want
Use what we got
Before it's all gone
'Cause no, we're not promised tomorrow"

Dhani Labor Story: A VBAC

Dhani dah nak dekat 4 bulan baru ada momentum nak bercerita pasal labor experience haa. Banyak benda jadi sampai tak ter-update blog. Now that i have time, i don't know where to start..

But nevertheless here goes.. It's gonna be a long post.

* * *

I was so sure i'm gonna give birth to Dhani in the 37th week because Afif was born at 37 weeks and 2 days. Awal-awal aku dah siapkan ape yang patut kat office, delegate and hand-over kerja, email auto reply semua lah.

Tapi kat rumah, aku kelam kabut sket. i couldn't really find time to pack my hospital bag because i was so busy with Afif. Wanted to spent every single moment with him before he has a sibling. i wanted him to get all my attention but at the same time i can't wait to have another child. Rasa bersalah kat Afif sebab bagi dia adik but rasa bersalah kat adik sebab macam unwelcoming pulak. i know i'm not making sense but you get what i mean?

Anyway, hospital bag siap jugak la akhirnya ngam-ngam masuk 37 weeks.

Braxton Hicks came so frequently starting at 37 weeks. Sometimes they were so intense sampai aku cuak. But i know those are not the real contractions because they are of irregular timing. i had weekly checkups siap kene pakai CTG on week 37, 38, and 39. Dr. Noor Fidak wanted to monitor contraction sebab nak try VBAC kan.. On all those appointments memang ada contraction tapi aku tak rasa sakit sangat. So we were so sure nak beranak dah. Tapi Dhani tak keluar jugak.

Monday

As i mentioned in this post, Mr. Chenta, Afif and i checked in at Pusrawi on a Monday because Afif had severe diarrhea. Time ni memang ada la contraction every 10-15 minutes gitu (for a few days dah actually). Weh sakit weh tahan contraction and jaga Afif diarrhea kuar masuk toilet. Tapi aku gagahkan jugak mencangkung basuh bontot dia bagai coz i want that to ease labor later on.

Tuesday 

At 3pm, i had my checkup. Aku bagitau la contraction dah regular (around 7 minutes apart at that time) and dah sakit. Buat VE, i was 2cm dialated! Dr. Fidak kata tak lama lagi ni. Alang-alang awak dah check-in kat sini, nanti pegi je labor room bila tak tahan sakit. She's quite concern about baby's position as he is a bit posterior. Better position than last week tapi still senget sket.

i went back to Afif's room after the checkup. Aku banyakkan menonggeng and did pelvic tilt exercise to help the baby turn. Sambil contraction sambil kuar masuk toilet jaga Afif diarrhea. Sampai nanges la jugak aku.

Around 7pm aku tak tahan sangat dah gi surrender kat labor room. Laki aku jaga Afif sebab takkan nak tinggalkan budak tu sorang kan. Strangely i feel relieved and at peace, being alone in the labor room. Sempat baca Surah Mariam and Surah Yusuf. Walked around the ward kononnya nak bagi cepat beranak. At around 9-10pm nurse datang tanya nak epidural tak. Sakit still bearable so dengan konfidennya cakap takpe, i can manage. "Betul ni puan? Doktor bius nak balik dah. Lepas ni kalau nak epi kene tunggu after 6am esok baru ada doktor" Walaupon ada sedikit goyah disitu (sebab sakit weh contraction), aku still kata takpe. Aku rasa penat and ngantok sangat, penangan dok spital jaga anak. So bila contraction takda aku try la tido.

Wednesday (genap-genap 40weeks)

Around 1am camtu Mr. Chenta masuk labor room temankan aku pulak. i'm so glad to have him there. Nasib baik Wan datang so lepas tidokan Afif, baru la laki aku temankan aku. Time ni sakit dah every 5-4 minutes camtu. Walked around the room in an attempt to distract my mind. Laki aku pon barai sebab since Sunday tido tak betul so dia tido. Sian kat dia so aku suruh je dia tido atas kerusi tu ha. Tapi bila tak tahan sangat contraction aku jerit je suruh dia urut/pegang/buat apa yang patut.

Around 4.30am aku ingatkan dah banyak la bukak sebab aku rasa cam kerap and sakit je contraction (padahal every 4mins). So aku suruh la nurse buat VE dengan harapan kuar lah cepat anakku. Rupanya baru 5cm. Time ni aku rasa memang tak larat dah. Aku lek dlu tahan. Tak larat bangon dah so aku menonggeng je la atas katil bila contraction. The combination of not having enough rest and the crazy contraction was too strong for me. Everything that i read in natural and hypnobirthing books, everything i saw on YouTube disappear. Tak ingat dah bernapas camne, nak bayangkan rainbow, petal bagai memang haram vanish from my mind. Yang aku ingat sakit je. i surrender. Kol 5.30am camtu aku mintak epidural.

At 6ish am, doktor bius datang. While he was yapping away briefing about epi, aku nak je jerit "Give me the Goddamn epidural already!" Tapi sabar je la. When he's done briefing and nak cucuk, aku cakap "Jappppp! Contraction nak datang!" Pas abes contraction tu, nurse tu pasang hamende ntah kat blakang aku pastu nak cucuk, aku kata lagi "Kejap doktorrrr! Con. Trac. Tion.."

When it's over, diorang cepat-cepat masukkan epidural. The sense of tingling ran down my spine and after a few seconds, all pain disappear. i couldn't feel my legs. Ya Allah leganya. Terus aku tido.

Kol 8am lebih camtu aku terjaga. i remember thinking "Kalo aku tau, awal-awal amek epi" haha.

The Push

Around 10am, midwife buat VE. "Eh dah habis 10cm dialated la..!" Kepala baby pon dah rasa ni. i was so excited "So nak push skang ke ape ni?" aku tanya. Dia kata kene call doktor Noor Fidak dulu.

After a few minutes, she came back. "Kita tunggu doctor datang ye. Dia on the way". Of course la aku panic. "Takpe ke nurse? Baby ni tak lemas ke? Dah bukak habis ni.." Then she explained they are monitoring the CTG and baby's heart beat. Heart beat seems okay and contraction still going strong so it's okay.

Aku ingatkan brapa minit je tunggu. Rupanya nak dekat kol 11am baru doctor sampai (-___-)

Straight away she asked me to push. Aku memang tak rasa apa sebenarnya. Numb abes. So memang tak rasa la ada pressure kepala baby ke, contraction ke, sakit pon tak rasa. i tried and tried to push but they say "Awak tak push ponnn"

"Push macam nak berak!"

"Bayangkan awak tengah buang air"

And i just wanna say "Saya tengah push nak berak la ni tak nampak ke omaigoddddd!!"

Dr. Fidak said "Baby awak dah naik balik ni. -ve 2 position dia" at which i wanted to say "Tu laa doktor yang lambat tadi dia dah turun tau takkk" but of course i just kept quiet.

Then i tried to push.

Pastu ada sorang midwife ni kata "Ish.. Awak ni kene c-sect ni" followed by a murmur of agreement from the other two nurses. One of them proceeded to call the OT.

Dr. Noor Fidak senyap je and asked me to try to push.

Firmly, i looked into Dr. Noor Fidak's eyes and said "Doktor, saya tak nak kene c-sect.."

She smiled and say, "Takpa, kita cuba" Pastu dia urut perot aku ke ape aku pon tatau.

Lepas try push lagi, doktor kata "Kita pakai vacuum la ye"

i agreed.

i saw the vacuum thingy.

She looked at me kindly and said "Takyah c-sect tp kene tolong baby kuar pakai vacuum. Awak kene kuat tau Siti"

i nodded. Anything.

"Ok push!"

i pushed. Pastu tetiba ada benda doctor tu letak atas dada aku. i blinked and ya Allah. It was my baby!

He cried and scream and i'm feeling heavenly.

My baby is here! Screaming, eyes open, slimy, warm, and here, in my arms.

"Haa nasib baik cepat. Baby berak ni haa.." Somebody said.

i looked at Mr. Chenta and he's looking at Dhani with the look of amazement in his eyes. Then he kissed me and said "Okay.. lepas ni tunggu lama sikit la baru ada baby lagi"

We hugged Dhani. When he calmed down, he looked at me. And he did the breast crawl, looking for milk. Then he did the most amazing thing, this smart boy; he latched then and there and drink like he's the hungriest baby in the world.

All this while the doctor is doing the whatnots kuarkan placenta, menjahit bagai.

"Doctor, tanak amek baby ke?" i asked

"Oh tak.. Kita memang akan biarkan mommy baby skin to skin for one hour"

So we savor that first one hour of Dhani's life. Watching him drinking. Belek-belek badan dia. Having the dia-ikut-muka-sapa argument. Oohing and awwing at his fingers/eyes/hair.

After one hour, the nurse took Dhani to be cleaned and checked by the paed. i was brought to the room.

*  *  *

That was Dhani's labor story. Definitely not an intervention-free birth but i am thankful that C-section was avoided and that both mama and baby were safe. Okay nanti aku bebel lagi pasal VBAC.

Dhani Nur Iman bin Mohd. Idzwan Asyraff

Petang tu masing-masing tido kepenatan.

 Dhani & Unyang

First of many night together

#tipahtheSAHM

I think forgot to mention this but i currently am a full time stay at home mom.

*gasp*

Haritu lepas habis maternity leave, aku masuk opis jap. I am now no longer Petronas' staff. I'm a Petronas Carigali staff now. To an outsider mesti korang macam "pape je la ko ni. Same je la petronas ke pcsb ke.." Haha but for me it marks a new era in my career. Wah gitu.

Tapi tak sempat pon keje kat tempat baru, i decided to take a 6-month unpaid leave. Afif was scheduled for his cochlear implant surgery in end of June (which then postponed, will tell more in seperate entry), and after that, a whole new episode for him to re-learn hearing, listening and speaking will take place. His doctor and therapist strongly suggest a parent to be full time at home to achieve great improvement in his hearing and speech. 

I love being a career woman (dah la i'm due for a job promotion) but being a wife and a mother is my topmost priority now. Working for a better future for my son is more important than climbing the corporate ladder. InshaAllah rezeki untuk itu akan menyusul nanti.

For now, THIS is my life. 

Aku start cuti on the third week of June. Lepak je 2 weeks and on 10th July, Afif undergo his surgery.

Kalau dulu aku ngadu penat jadi SAHM jaga Afif sorang, boleh bayangkan tak penat jaga Afif AND Dhani serentak? Haha. But surprisingly aku tak la tekejot sgt mcm first time amek unpaid leave dulu. Mainly because i'm used to looking after Dhani and Afif in my 2 months of maternity leave. Masuk keje seminggu je pon pastu cuti balik. So dah macam in tune dan ada rutin. 

CI Afif belom switch on lagi, so he's hearing with his hearing aid on the left ear, right ear belom mendengar. InshaAllah next Monday switch on. A new era for Afif will begin.

Sekarang aku still relek2 je. Anak-branak bangon pagi kol 10 (kadang kol 12 pon ada. Haha). Nanti dah switch on kene all out la and spent at least an hour a day doing structured play with him. 

Wish me luck, peeps!

Raya 2015 Kami

Macam tahun2 sebelomnya, Raya kami simple je. 

Laki aku cam biasa la takmo beli baju melayu. Kitorang pon bukan la jenis beraya sakan. #teamRayaKL katanya. So pilih color drp warna2 baju melayu yang dia ada. I chose black coz of the slimming effect. Kahkahkah. Aku beli baju ArtDeco by Jovian for Zalora. Beli masa ngam-ngam abes pantang. Sebab tak konfiden bole kurus, aku order saiz M. Sekali pakai, besar. Kembang kempis hidung mak sebab terbukti muat lagi saiz S. Wuahaha. Afif dapat cari baju melayu hitam, Dhani plak aku beli online baju melayu romper. Settle.

Suka aku tgk Afif pakai set lengkap baju melayu siap sampin and songkok. Rasa cam wowww hensemnye anak aku. Bahaha.

Anyway, macam biasa PIL flew in from Kuching a few days before Raya. Tahun ni rasa la lain sket sebab kurang ahli di rumah. Adik-adik aku dah pindah sejak kahwen last year, adik-adik ipar plak jauh di US and UK sana haa. So terasa la kepenatan buat preparation Raya, tambahan ada anak kecik ni. Kemas mengemas keje kitorang laki bini, kuih raya aku in charge, lauk-pauk Raya Wan and MIL la tulang belakang. Sempat aku buat 3 jenis Raya cookies (choc chip licin tak sampai sminggu Raya kikiki) cuma sandwich cake tak sempat buat tahun ni.

First Raya, we spent the morning at home. Lepas bermaafan, bergambar dan makan, kitorang balik Sg. Penchala jap. Kononnya sementara tak ramai lagi family lain datang, baik beraya blah Mama aku dulu sebab pakcik makcik turn beraya umah nenek aku tahun ni. Kat rumah nenek aku rasa meriah la sebab adik bradik mak aku ada 11 (but minus 2 dah meninggal). Sampai je sana Afif mengamok sebab nak main, takmo amek gamba (-____-) but he's okay after a few minutes. Petang tu balik Wangsa Maju balik dan beraya ngan family Papa aku plak.

Gamba Raya perasan pengantin baru.

i tried to look and look but can you believe this is the best color-coordinated Raya family picture we have?
Gamba lain sama ada blur (sebab Afif gerak), Dhani ketara melalak, laki aku tutup mata, or aku ketawa over buruk benor.

With Atok and Nenek belah Mama saya.

Raya paling sakan adalah untuk bebudak.

Raya kedua dok rumah sebab sedara-mara datang. Memang aku tak bother pon pakai baju kurung bagai sebab mengerah tenaga jadi host.

Wefie sket, dik!

Keluarga nukleus kami.

Raya ketiga relax sket. Petang tu kitorang plus BIL bawak Afif tengok wayang. It's his first movie experience ever! Aku risau gak sebab budak ni suka explore. Tapi aku harap sebab dia suka Minions, dia akan ok behave la kot. Aku anticipate dia akan naik turun tangga kat cinema tu but surprisingly dia adalah sangat behave. Kitorang sampai lagi 2 minit nak lights out, so bila dah gelap and nampak plak Minion terpampang kat screen, terus dia excited, sat down, and watched the whole thing with that bowl of popcorn in hand. Bila part kelakar beriya la dia gelak, part serious dia serious. Phewww *lap peluh didahi* Cuma last 10 minutes of the movie dia dah boring baru la dia restless, berdiri atas kerusi dia and jalan gi duduk kat tangga. Huhu.

Weekend plak aku layan tetamu dirumah je. Beraya umah jiran jap pastu sedara aku datang. ohhh A'ai pon datang. 2 kali plak tu dia beraya kat rumah aku. Haha. Seronok tengok Afif geng ngan Safiyya main sama-sama. Safiyya siap nanges takmo balik. Huhu.

Geng Raya

That's my Raya so far. i just realized aku tak gi beraya umah sesapa lagi (well, rumah jiran sebelah umah tak kira la). Takpe nok, Raya kan sebulan. Hihi.

Home is..

Here i am again. On a wing chair in a hospital room.

Thinking how inconvenient it is having to spend nights in a small bed with Dhani by my side. How suffocated to live days in this small room, husband and wife with 2 kids. How i miss my king size, wonderful bed at home and my tv with lotsa wonderful astro channels.

But as i sit here looking at my two peacefully sleeping babies and laughing at my husband's jokes, i realized that there's no where else i'd rather be. 

Not on my comfortable bed without my husband and babies.

Home is where ever we are, together.

Maternity Leave Ending Soon

..and i'm dreading it.

I had this plan. I was gonna go on 2 months maternity leave, 1 month extended maternity leave (with half month paid salary) and a few more months of unpaid leave. Cuti banyak-banyak ni sebenarnya sebab Afif patut kene surgery buat cochlear implant in May.

Plan punya plan, Allah is the best planner. Surgery sampai skang tak buat lagi (pending clearance from insurance) maka takkan la nak cuti sparuh/takda gaji for nothing kan?

Nak tak nak, terpaksa la masuk opis. This coming Monday. 

As much as i'm dreading leaving my kids to other people's care, having to wake up early (weh sejak cuti kitorang anak branak bangon kol 10 or 11am kottt), and having to deal with work, i'm kinda excited to go back to work because:

a) i will be transferred to other department (about time! Dah nak 8 thn kot aku di tempat yg sama)

b) i can't wait to wear high heels (ko gila nak berjalan ngan anak pakai heels? Terpeleot kejar afif or baywear dhani)

c) my friends! (As much as i love my kids, i need to talk to adults too. My girls, particularly)

d) window (and actual) shopping. It's a reality when your office building is attached to a mall. 

e) San Francisco Coffee! Ya Allah dah lebih 2 bulan tak pekema kopi san fran. Memang aku melantak sblom puasa ni..

Looking at this list, i suddenly realized that going back to work is not THAT bad. Hope i can stay positive all year round.

To Afif and Dhani, it's not like mama loves being a working mom more than i love being a stay at home mom. God knows how i want to be with you boys at home all the time. Ada rezeki, that will happen ok baby. In the meantime, i pray with all my heart that you'll be okay at the babysitter's/at home with Unyang and that Allah protects you boys from harm.

Abang Afif

Today marks Dhani's 50th day in the world.

Afif's 50th day of being a big brother. Of being an Abang.

To be honest, when i was pregnant with Dhani, my biggest concern was not giving birth. It was how would Afif be when he has a sibling. Being the eldest child and grandchild, he's not used to being around babies. i have small cousins but they're all older than Afif so he's always excited to see them. He'd play with them, run around, copy what they do.. He never knew how to be gentle to a baby and never really saw me holding a baby. i tried to tell him that Mama's got a baby in her big tummy, baby has hands, eyes, legs.. i read him books about big brothers and baby. i don't think he understood at that time. He looked at me with a confused face and back to my tummy as if trying to say "That's a ball in the tummy.."

So i read a lot about toddler and little brother/sister. i braced myself for tantrums. i expected him to not-like Dhani. i was worried if he'd hit or sit on Dhani.

50 days on and alhamdulillah, there's no hitting, no over-the-top screaming for attention, no hitting. YET.

i remember the first time we introduced Dhani to him. i waited for him in my post-delivery ward (mintak 2-bedded room as Afif was still warded for diarrhea at that time). He came in, saw Dhani and muka cam pelik apsal tetiba ada budak kecik ni. He hugged me pastu lari berkepit ngan daddy balik. Then i held Dhani close to him and said, "Afif, ni adik. Adik Dhani..". He ignored me, ignored Dhani. Buat-buat busy ngan daddy. Second time, Mr. Chenta plak dukung Dhani and bawak gi tunjuk kat Afif. He took one look at Dhani pastu muka trus berubah nak nanges. 

That broke my heart.

Sebelom bersalin kitorang dapat tips from a few friends on how to avoid abang jeles kat adik. The trick is to give a present to the abang and bagitau hadiah tu dari adik. So we bought a xylophone siap-siap for Afif. Later night (after being ignored by Afif all evening), we gave the Xylophone to him sambil tunjuk kat Dhani "Ni adik bagi Afif. Adik sayang Afif.." Lepas tu baru lah dia nak pandang Dhani. Sebelom tu pandang pon tanak.

Ada skali ni (on Dhani's 3rd day kot), aku nak tukar pampers Dhani. Afif dok sebelah aku. Dia tengok aku bukak bedung Dhani. Pastu aku cakap "Haa.. tengok, ni kaki adik. Adik pakai socks. Jom bukak pampers adik.." and he looked at Dhani like that was the first time. Then dengan muka excited dia kata "a-iii!" (kaki!) sambil tunjuk kaki Dhani. Bila bukak pampers, dia tunjuk bebird Dhani pastu tunjuk kat pampers dia as if trying to say bebird adik macam dia. That's when i realized he never saw Dhani without berbedung. Selama ni bertutup je adik dia. That was the first time dia nampak Dhani ada kaki, bebird bagai. Baahaha! Maybe then he realized that Dhani is actually a person.

And from then on onwards, the love for his brother grew. Dari pandang, dia senyum-senyum. Tak lama pastu pandai usap-usap adik. Everytime Dhani nanges, he'd say "Maa!" sambil tunjuk adik. Or bila Dhani nanges dia hulur tangan nak pangku adik. Sehari brapa puluh kali ntah dia cium kepala adik. Tapi kitorang kene observe gak sebab kadang dia geram dia cucuk mata Dhani. Haha. Kalo malam tengah termenong nak tido tu tangan dia busy usap-usap Dhani. Tengah tido kadang dia golek ke Dhani pastu pelok.

MasyaAllah, he's such a wonderful abang. i'm so thankful for that.

Of course there were times yang dia stress tak dapat main ngan Mama or Mama tak dapat layan sebab mama busy breastfeed/dukung adik. Time macam ni la yang aku pon stress sama coz God, i miss him so much. But we have to deal with that. Nampak la muka sedih tapi dia pandai bawak diri. Tak pernah la dia bengang sampai pukul or hempap adik.

i can't wait for the day when Dhani can play with him. i imagine the two of them building blocks, making a mess out of their room and wrestle. i imagine them building a treehouse with Daddy. Imagine them fighting and crying "Maaa.. Abang/Adik buatttt. Huaaaa.."

First night jadi abang

 

Suruh main atas lantai tanak. nak main ngan adik 

(-__-)

Tengok TV pon nak pangku adik.

My mischievous boys refusing bedtime.

Mama hopes and prays that you guys will always be the best of friends. Looking after each other. Jangan gadoh-gadoh. Jaga Mama and Daddy bila kami dah tua nanti. i pray for only the best for you.

Dhani Nur Iman

Phew.. Dah nak abes pantang baru sempat nak berbelog bagai. 

Life with 2 kids is not easy. Life with 2 boys is even more hectic. Even though Dhani is only 5 weeks old (blom lasak lagi pon) but his appetite is HUGE. Asyik bergayut je keje dier. So my time is spent breastfeeding him and when he's asleep, aku layan Afif plak. 

Oh i have not introduce him officially, haven't i?

Peeps, meet my new bundle of joy, Dhani Nur Iman bin Mohd Idzwan Asyraff.

Fresh from the uterus!

Panjang nau name. Huhu. 

He was born on 15.4.15, at Pusrawi, KL. Dr. Noor Fidak's prediction was spot on. He weighed 3.55kg at birth. And yessss.. Aku berjaya VBAC! Walopon bukan intervention-free birth, i'm happy it's not a repeat c-section. Alhamdulillah. Nanti la aku share birth story. Hihi.

Lil' Dhani is 39 days young today. He's healthy and doing good. Haritu kejap je warded sebab jaundice. Dah discaj, dia ok je. Masa 1-month checkup haritu berat dia 4.93kg dah. Huhu.

My debab bam bam Dhani.

Dhani is such an easy baby. Tak banyak ragam. Takde colic or kembung perut bagai. Lepas menyusu, dia tido balik or lately suka orang agah2 dia. Paling best sebab malam dia tak berjaga or meragam. Bangon untuk menyusu once or twice pastu tido balik. Tido malam dia nyenyak sebab bawah ketiak aku. Tapi dia kalo tido siang memang senang terjaga kalo aku tak pelok. Maka kene bedung and letak dalam rocker or else tido niarap. Baru lama lenanya.

Lena!

I am now a proud mother of two boys!

Bila Anak Sakit

The past one week has been overwhelming. 

On Sunday 12.4.15 Afif started to have diarrhea. We didn't worry much coz he's active. Berlari sana sini. Malam tu start demam. Panas sampai 39.4 celcius. Baru kitorg cuak. Tak tdo malam aku sbb dia tido cam tekejot tekejot. Aku risau sawan je. 

Pagi Isnin tu memang dia lemah sgt. Muntah dah 2 kali. Cirit memang tak terhitung dah dari semalamnya. Kaki tangan sejuk, rest of the body panas. Bagi ubat pon tak kebah weh. He was very weak. We decided to take him to the hospital. Memula ingat nk gi Prince Court sebab biasa dah ngan Dr. Anthony or Columbia sbb penah admit situ pasal rotavirus dlu. Tapi mikirkan aku yg sarat ngandong ni due anytime, gi bawak Afif kat Pusrawi. Kalo terberanak at least satu spital la kami. 

Sampai je ER and doctor check, kami kene marah. Doc kata afif ni lemah sgt dah. Kenapa tak bawak awal. Terdiam kitorang. Trus warded. Standard la masuk ubat bontot, masuk IV drip, amek blood n stool sample. Monday and Tuesday were spent in the ward kuar masuk toilet cuci berak and muntah dia. Penat weh. On top of that, sambil layan contraction / Braxton hicks aku ni haa.. Laki aku pon barai sebab the Ahad keje, malam isnin tu plak berjaga tgk Afif plus hanta adik dia gi KLIA. Memang saba je la laki bini.

Nak berkepit je dia. Mama dah sarat tak larat nk dukung gini :'(

Selasa petang tu kebetulan ade checkup. Aku turun la jmpe gynea while Mr. Chenta jaga afif kat bilik. Doc check and buat VE and guess what? I was 2cm dialated at 3pm. Doc kata elok la awak dah kat sini pon. Papehal trus check in labor room (which is on the same floor as afif's room hihi). OK doctor!

Abes check up lepak je dalam bilik sambil layan Afif and contraction. Tak tahan sangat, kol 7 aku surrender ke labor room. Mr. Chenta jaga afif sampai tido malam tu. Pastu temankan aku kat labor room. Wan temankan afif kat bilik. Sian Wan. Tak pasal2 terlibat sama.

Alhamdulillah after 15hours in labor, i gave birth to a handsome baby boy. Nanti la seperate entry labor story.

Pas branak aku request nak double bedded room, supaya boleh sebilik ngan Afif. Takde la laki aku susah payah nk berulang antara 2 bilik. Weh penat weh jaga a sick toddler and newborn at the samw time. Plus baru pas beranak. Nasib baik la Afif dah tak muntah2. Diarrhea je. Adik dia pon tak nanges berjaga malam. Dah dpt susu dia tido. 

Afif, adik, daddy. All exhausted. All asleep.

On Friday kitorang mintak discharge all three of us. Afif still ada mild diarrhea, adik ada borderline kuning (10.8 reading dia) tapi kitorang nak balik gak. Kematu dok spital dah 5 hari.

Tapi balik pon takde la rilek sangat. In-laws aku turun dari kuching and SIL n hubby dari US pon ada kat KL so weekend penuh la rumah. Melayan visitor lagi. 

And nowww.. I'm back in the hospital. 

Sigh. 

Semalam check in balik sebab adik kuning. Semalam reading 13.4, harini 12.3. Boring gak la berdua je sini. Mr. Chenta jaga Afif kat umah. 

My Cyclops.

Harap esok turun la bawah 11 coz seriously i wanna rest at home. Berurut berpantang bagai. Nak heal cepat. Nak pelok2 Afif. Nak bermesra ngan laki aku. Coz seriously bila anak sakit, mood laki bini pon cam tak brapa ceria. Harap sangat cepat everything falls into place, that we could settle into a routine. 

39 Weeks Tomorrow..

..and baby #2 is still safely tucked in my tummy.

At this point, i'm anxious.

Afif dulu barely 37 weeks dah tak saba nak kuar. Bloody show, false alarm then the water broke at 37 weeks 1 day.

Orang kata baby nombo 2 dan seterusnya lagi cepat kuar selalunya but now it's proven that's just a myth. Tapi dah 2 weeks gitu Braxton Hicks memang kuat. Starting at 37 weeks aku gi checkup every week dah. Dah 2 kali checkup doc suruh CTG sebab nak monitor kot-kot ada contraction. Doctor is being extra careful sebab aku nk try VBAC. Dan masa dua2 kali checkup ni jugak CTG pick up contractions, but irregular. Memang sah Braxton Hicks la tu sebab Dr. Fidak kata muka aku pon relek je.

Lately makin kerap plak accompanied by sakit blakang. Orang kata kalo rasa cam period pain kat lower abdomen plus sakit belakang, that is the real deal. Sehari dua ni sakit gitu tapi tak regular lah. Celah kangkang aku pon rasa sangat dah ha. Jalan pon waddle. Hihi.

Petang ni check up lagi. Kene gi sorang sebab laki aku keje. Hati ada sikit gentar sebab takot tengah-tengah drive kang contraction ke ape. Harap selamat je la.

Last week masa check up Dr. Fidak kata baby's position tak cantik lagi. Memang kepala dah kat bawah but in posterior position. Maksudnya dia terlentang, muka ngadap perot aku, blakang dia bersandar kat blakang aku. Sunny side up la kira. This position is not optimum coz it requires larger pelvic opening and it will prolong labor. Aku risau je dengar perkataan "prolong labour" ni coz kang lemas plak pastu kene c-sect lagi. Haih risau mak. So since last week aku dok menonggeng, lamakan sujud, buat pelvic rock exercise, baca surah Maryam in attempts to help my baby turn. Harap sangat dia dah pusing.

Korang tolong doakan aku selamat melahirkan anak ke-2 ni ye. Kalo boleh, aku doa sangat for vaginal birth coz that is the best kind of birth. Tapi kalo kene c-sect pon aku pasrah je la asalkan baby and mamanya selamat. Maafkan salah silap aku kalo ada terkasar bahasa dalam berbelog. Ha gitu.

Sleeping Arrangement

With delivery day fast approaching, we've been having problem deciding on sleeping arrangement. Selama ni 3 beranak tido atas katil queen size. There's no way the bed can accommodate the 4 of us when baby #2 comes. 

Bila tanya kawan-kawan beranak kecik 2-3 camne diorg tido, ada yg laki bini tido bilik asing (sorang tido ngan satu anak so that bila satu anak nanges malam tak kaco anak lagi satu). Ada yg laki bini tido atas katil, anak tido atas tilam kat lantai. Or laki tido lantai ngan sorang anak and bini tido katil ngan anak lain. Ada yg anak tido ngan bibik. Sume case study tak membantu aku sebab kami laki bini takmo tido asing, knowing Afif dia takkan tdo atas lantai (sian kot wehhh) and aku takde bibik.

Ade la a few options kami pikir..

Option one is buying a toddler bed but with Afif being clingy, tido-kene-pelok-kalo-takde-Mama-dia-terjaga, we doubt a toddler bed would help. Nanti la adik dah umur 2 tahun, korang berdua dok bilik sdiri.

Option two is getting a king size bed so bole sumbat 4 beranak skali. So far tak sempat gi kedai perabot survey tapi bila tengok online, mau-mau habis 5-7riban gak *telan air liur* Nanti kalo dah survey and rasa worth it baru decide la kot. Kot.

Option three is stick with current sleeping arrangement with Adik tido dlm baby cot. We foresee this won't last long coz based on past experience, kejap je baby dok dalam cot. Pastu aku akan give up sebab malas bangon banyak kali breastfeed baby and letak dlm cot balik. Penat tau.

But Mr. Chenta assemble the baby cot anyway. And now..

This is how we sleep! Afif in the baby cot attached to our bed. Excited dia bila ada baby cot ni sebab dia rasa it's for him.

It's perfect coz we still get to cuddle and for the first time since he was born, kami laki bini tido next to each other balik. Selama ni Afif dok tengah hehe. 

Baru 2 malam try tido gini. Ok la Afif tak pernah lagi tetiba lompat tido atas katil kitorang plak. Harap lama bertahan gini and makin lama makin kurangkan his attachment to me so that he can sleep independently. 

Overwhelmed No More

ACD

Yeahooo!

Last Friday was a huge relief for me. I had just went to my annual technical assessment. We call it ACD. This year, it's suppose to be a big deal for me because i missed ACD two years in a row. Sekali sebab terberanak awal, sekali sebab unpaid leave jaga Afif. 

Bila ko dah dua tahun miss assessment, memang adalah sangat efek promotion. Kekawan seperjuangan dah naik gred, aku masih di sini. i kept telling myself that it's okay. Aku tak naik-naik pon bukan sebab aku bongok sangat. Sebab timing. Tapi kadang cam ada perasaan "whoaaa.. i'm so behind". Lagi satu workscope aku skang adalah acting manager, tapi gaji kuli. Agak stress di situ kan.. 

Anyway, like i said this ACD is supposed to be a huge deal because of this cepat-la-tutup-gap-nak-promotion. Previously memang aku takkan boleh tido 2 weeks before (sebab anxious) and study macam student. But this time around, with my ever growing tummy and Afif to look after, aku memang tak study langsung kat umah. Kat opis memang tak la sebab busy meeting sana sini orang demand itu ini. Dapat la tengok2 notes 2 hari sebelum assessment.

With that 30% effort and preparation, aku pon gi la ACD. Alhamdulillah assessors were very helpful. Aku bajet sebab aku bongok sejam je boleh settle. Tapi end up 2 jam lebih gak la dalam tu. i did my best and the rest is up to Him. But i don't see any promotion in the near future la. Bahaha..

Pregnancy

Alhamdulillah my pregnancy is progressing well. Minggu ni masuk minggu ke-35 ZOMG! To date i have gained almost 14kgs. i'm at the heaviest i've been all my life but it's okay somehow. Last 2 weeks baby dah 2kg beratnya. Esok checkup tatau la berapa. Dr. Fidak kata jaga jangan baby lebih 3kilo kalo nak senang VBAC. Camne kekdahnya tuuu?

Kaki aku dah start sembab ye.. Baru prasan last 2 nights sebab rasa ketat bila lipat-lipat jari kaki. Bahaha. As usual, aku freak out and demanded at my husband "Ni sembab kannn? Bukan gemok kannn??" Bless him for being as patient as ever and cakap "Ko tak gemok.. Ngandong biasa la cenggini.." Baahaha

34 weeks.

Sakit pinggang or sakit belakang dah takde skang. It was bad in second trimester so bersyukur la dah tak sakit despite memberat dengan jayanya. Cuma aku memang penat la weh after work. Pastu rasa pressure celah kangkang ni haa. Dulu mase memula start sakit ni aku ingatkn nak branak premie dah sebab dulu masa ngan Afif tak pernah sakit celah kangkang ni. Nasib baik takde pape. Mintak Cik Ros datang urut, baru lega pastu. That was a month ago. Skang sakit balik.

Skang aku stress sebabnya most of my pre-pregnancy clothes dah start tak muat. Maxi dresses and loose cardigan je bole pakai comfortably. Blouses that were loose are starting to look like sarung nangka on me. Belly Belt can't help me fit into my jeans anymore *nanges* Takkan la aku nak beli baju besar/maternity plak. Lagi sebulan (or less) je pon nak meletop. If you see me looking shabby, harap paham.

Cravings

Suka benda manis adalah masih sampai skang. Tapi okay la aku control. Tak la hentam keromo je. Kalo dulu lapa tengah malam aku makan cookies, now i eat yogurt or biskut kering cicah susu instead. Because i don't wanna miss out on cookies and ice creams, sampai skang ye aku makan brown rice to compensate. i think i'm gonna keep eating brown rice lepas branak pon. Healthy katanya plus aku tak rasa pon beza rasa dengan nasik biasa.

First attempt at Nutella-filled choc chip cookies.

Sedap but i gotta really find a way to fill in more Nutella that will stay melt inside.

Haritu ade kawan haplod gamba laksa Sarawak dengan udang galah. Ya Allah teringinnya. Ajak laki aku balik Kuching tapi smpai la ni tak sempat sebab ACD la, dia keje la. Ni dah lebih 34weeks memang takleh la naik belon. My MIL, the best MIL, kirimkan kat aku udang galah. Instead of laksa Sarawak, dapat la makan udang asam masak Sarawak. Wan masakkan. Bahaha.. Jadi lah nak hilangkan ngidam.

Udang galah XXL kiriman MIL dari Kuching demi cucu dalam perot :D

Post-ACD, Pre-Beranak Period

So now i'm in this post-ACD, pre-beranak period. Ini adalah masa di mana aku nak handover and delegate kerja ke colleagues, settlekan kemas rumah and make room for baby #2's clothes, manjakan Afif puas-puas and steal time to be with my husband before 3 becomes 4. Harap lah sempat buat semua. Harap baby tak buat surprise kuar awal sangat cam Afif haritu. Sabar ye Adik! Kasi Mama basuh and susun baju awak and bawak Abang jenjalan nanti baru awak keluar ye.

Okay tu je bebelan kali ni.

Counting days til i can meet my Baby D!

This plus 1.

Our household is about to get even more chaotic.

New Nightly Routine

i did blog about trying to wean Afif off by putting lemon juice and asam jawa on the boobs.

Yeah.. That didn't go well. He ended up brushing those off with his hand and continue feeding without batting his eyes.

Aku pon sebenarnya malas gak la nak berusaha cerai susu sebabnya malas bangon malam buatkan susu especially when Mr. Chenta syif malam. Sleep is precious weh! So aku redho je ler.

Sampai la masuk week 27 of pregnancy. Aku prasan everytime dia bf, rasa contraction. Memula ingatkan kebetulan, tapi dah 2-3 kali gitu, memang sah la kan. i don't wanna risk premature labor or any other complication. So nak tak nak kene la wean off.

Ada orang suggest baca doa ni. Berkesan katanya.. 2-3 hari terus anak cerai susu..

source: here 

Tapiiiii...

Seriously aku tak sampai hati. Aku tau doa ni bagus. Tapi betol betol tak sampai hati sebab ada perkataan "diharamkan ke atas kamu seperti daging babi".

Maka aku teruskan je la doa bahasa aku.

Dannnn..

Aku letak Colgate.

Baaahaha.. Afif memang benci gosok gigi sebab benci rasa ubat gigi. So bila aku letak Colgate, memang terus dia reject.

Baahahaha..

First time dia buat muka pelik, pastu nanges. Lepas-lepas tu dia akan hidu dulu, pandang aku dengan muka hampa, pastu trus tutup baju aku. Kesian.

Now my nightly routine consists of Colgate application on an unexpected body part. Haha.

So alhamdulillah, skang no more bedtime feeding. Cuma malam-malam bila dia terjaga memang dia akan mencari la. Aku cepat-cepat bangon buatkan susu. 

i'm sorry baby. You're a big boy now. Make way for adik pulak ye. 

Big Baby

Last Friday i went for my 6th month checkup. And it was an appointment to remember because for the first time ever EVER, i went for a checkup alone, without my husband. He had to work and frankly, it's not worth it to sneak out from Sepang to KL semata-mata nak temankan aku checkup. i thought i'm gonna dread it (sebab kononnya aku sorang loser takde laki disisi gi checkup) but surprisingly, ramai je mak-mak gi checkup sorang. It wasn't all that bad.

Checkup went smooth. Dr. Noor Fidak tengok detail scan report and dia kata ok la. Dia check jugak umbilical cord and while it's longer than Afif's, drp muka dia aku rasa she thinks it's not long enough. Aku pon tatau. Baby is still breech at 26 weeks but she's not worried. Banyak masa lagi nak turun katanya but of course aku dah start cuak. Kene banyak sujud ni supaya senang baby turun. 

Anyway, in the 7 weeks that the doctor and i did not see each other, i gained 4kgs *nanges*. 

i complained about my crazy weight gain. Dr. Fidak kata "guess what? Baby you besar. That's why badan you tak nampak naik tp berat naik. Air ketuban pon banyak ni". Apparently he weighs 1+kg while he's suppose to weigh tak sampai 800g, measuring at 28 week instead of 26 week. Wow this baby really takes after his daddy. Doctor suruh aku jaga makan, kurangkan/skip carbohydrate and sugar coz those go  straight to the baby. Banyakkan protein. As i want to try for a VBAC, memang kene jaga la baby takleh besar sangat. i don't want his size to be the alasan why i need to c-sect if everything else is ok.

So much for the myth that pregnant women can eat whatever they want. Sigh.

Before the appointment, aku memang dah start jaga makan gak sebab tanak berat sgt masa jmpa doctor haha. But now i really have to step up my game. Switched from rice to brown rice.  No more 3-in-1 coffee, only black coffee less sugar for me. Nampaknye kene la makan salad or sandwich je at lunch coz malam mesti makan nasi kat umah. Tatau la berjaya ke tak haha. And those cookies, ice cream and brownies i love? Well, i'm not gonna give them up completely but i'll try to limit them.

Pagi semalam aku timbang, i lost 1kg already. Gila takkan baru control makan 3 hari trus turun berat? Haha.

Wish me luck, guys. Ingat senang ke control makan bila tengah ngandong? Doakan jugak aku berjaya VBAC.

Hello baby!

A-F-I-F

Sekarang Afif adalah obses dengan alphabets. Speech therapist soh buat macam-macam exercise like 6 ling sounds, kenal body parts, people and daily stuff but everytime aku duduk ngajar, dia lagi suka main alphabets or vehicle. Haih la anak.

But the good thing is he now recognize and actually pronounce a few letters, walopon pelat. He knows the letters that make up his name, even though i think he doesn't know that those actually spell his name. Haha. Watch this video:

#proudmom

Haha maafkan mak eksaited share video ni. Frankly instagram aku asik video Afif je pastu kang orang kata riak plak anak baru pandai sket dah haplod. Kat blog ni 2-3 kerat je nampak. Haha.

Seriously, being a mom to a special child is.. unexplainable. The road is not easy but i wouldn't say it's superhard that it's a burden. i say it makes me a much better person and frankly, i can not imagine Afif any other way. Every progress is golden coz i know it's a result of hard work. 

Long way to go but we'll get there, InsyaAllah.

6.5 Months

Yup, my pregnancy has hit the 6-month milestone.

Poor baby #2. Not much is updated this time around. Maybe it's true what they say, pregnancy/baby #1 you're so excited at becoming a mother/parent that you record all about the journey. Come pregnancy #2, #3 and so on, you'll be like, meh.

But, baby, mama loves you just as much.

Sickness

Alhamdulillah, this time around, i only had a month of vomitting, nausea and morning/evening sickness. Entering second trimester i found myself sickness-free. Totally different with pregnancy#1; i didn't have appetite, vomit-fest and nausea up until the fifth (or was it sixth?) month. Easy breazy this time around. Which brought me to the next aspect of my pregnancy which is..

Weight Gain

Oh, boy. Ohhhh boyyy..

In total, i have gained 9kgs. 9kgs in 6.5 months! Every month checkup mesti naik 2 kg starting from the third month. Doctor bising gak but in my defense, i did not pig out okayy (denial). Aku makan amaun same je cam tak ngandong (denial). Just that this time around i love, love sweet stuff especially chocolate. My (almost) nightly fix consist of Chipsmore cicah dengan cold milk and my love for my own-baked Nutella brownie. i guess that's where the extra kgs come from.

My super-easy-to-make Nutella brownie.

Sigh.

So yeah. People have been noticing that this bump is definitely much bigger than my first bump. But it's totally okay. Afif was born at teeny weeny 2.34kg. i'm hoping baby #2 would be at a much healthier weight. Besides, i did a general health check-up and my glucose level and bone density tests came up good. i just have to be careful and watch my carbo intake from now on if i wanna lose weight easily post pregnancy.

At 19 weeks, when people started to realize i'm not just fat. i'm pregnant.

Both potos at 22 weeks. Amazing how different angles can either show or hide your baby bump.

26 weeks.

On Chuna's last day with PRD :'(

Cravings

This time around i'm all about seafood and sweet stuff. i want fish, prawns, lobsters, squid, fish fish fish! At one phase, aku goreng ikan talapia ngan kunyit dan garam je or udang goreng kunyit makan ngan nasik and kicap EVERYDAY and those were the best meals ever. This baby is gonna love makanan kampung a lot coz aku memang tak berapa lalu makan pasta and other Western dishes. Dulu masa ngan Afif, aku suke makan daging and Western food.

It's true what they say. Every pregnancy is different.

Detail Scan at 23 Weeks

Last time when i was pregnant with Afif, i didn't do detail scan because my obgyn said everything looks okay. This time around, my ob/gyn advice us to do detail scan to see the umbilical cord's length. You see, Afif's umbilical cord was too short (sejengkal gitu je).. That's why he couldn't descend during labor and i ended up with a c-sect. So this time around, i'd like to try for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-sect) but of course if my and baby's condition permit.

We went for the detail scan at 23 weeks. Aku jakun gila masa scan tu. Rupanya memang detail la dia check segala. Segala heart chamber, tulang and jari-jari tangan kaki, segala ukuran otak, perot, pundi kencing.. As for the umbilical cord, the sonographer said it's not possible to predict exactly the cord's length but if we see the cord at a few locations around the baby, it means the cord is long. Alhamdulillah, we can see the cord around the baby. InshaAllah panjang la kot idok ler sejengkal je.

 My still-kurus baby at 23 weeks.

Sleeping soundly marah kene kacau.

 The blue and red thingy is the cord.

During the last two ob/gyn visits, baby refuse to show his/her hoo-ha. Orang kata kalo dah malu-malu ni baby girl la selalunya. Naturally, rasa best gak kalo girl. Dapat la sepasang. But then having a boy would be fun too coz Afif ade la geng buli, wrestling bagai..

During this detail scan, jenuh jugak la sonographer tu godek and pujuk baby bukak sket kaki tu. Finally.. nampak jugak. Terang dan jelas.

Tak sempat sonographer nak cakap ape, i blurted out.. "Wow.. It's a boy.. Kan?"

Gelak je miss tu. "haa mama pon dah nampak kan. It's a boy!"

Baaahahahaha..

Kitorang laki bini were grinning like idiots.

We're gonna have another boy, guys!!