Slide Show

May 30, 2014

New Friend

The past week has been a bit of emotional whirlwind for me.

Having blessed with a hearing impaired child, i'm never at ease. Most days are fine. Some days i'm in despair, panic attack, guilt.. i worry a lot. i have so many questions.

When will Afif talk?
What if Afif can't talk?
Will his future be okay?
Can he make friends?
Can he go to normal school?

More questions than i (or even his therapist) could answer.

The hardest thing is not having or knowing anyone else that have the same experience.

i missed Afif's last speech therapy because i had to present in a meeting. i never missed it and God did i feel guilty. Mr. Chenta took him for therapy and he is amazing but you know it's different when you are not there.

Because i'm such a control freak, i emailed his therapist. i can't rest not getting information first hand. Asking this and that. i hope she doesn't find me too bossy and nosey. My prayer has been answered when she gave me a contact number of a mom with a hearing impaired daughter.

It's just what i need.

Someone who was there, went through what i go through.
Someone who can share what she did. How she did it.
Someone who understands.

We got in touch recently. Alhamdulillah for this new friend.

She said it ain't easy.
She took time off work in the critical years.
She went for seminars/talks/classes. She sent the daughter (who was 2-4 years at that time) to music class, writing class, and various therapies.
She put of having another baby until the daughter is 6 years old.
But now, she said, it's worth it. The daughter is 7 years old and speaking and hearing well.

i'm so amazed at her effort.
i never thought of music class nor writing class for Afif (for God's sake, he's not even 2!)
i never went for talks/seminars/playgroup. Not because i don't want to, because i couldn't find one.
Though i wanted to go someplace else for therapy, i never made the move.

This new info is both a relief and a curse.
Because i feel like i'm not doing enough for my son.

Oh well.
What the use of dwelling.
Now that i know, i'll do a better job.

Must. Find. Music. Class. ASAP.
Must. Find. A. Talk/Seminar. ASAP.


May 22, 2014

Reality Check

Semalam macam biasa lah aku balik keje naik train. Terhegeh-hegeh berjalan dengan 5-inch heels aku ni. Macam biasa jugak lah dalam train memang kebarangkalian nak dapat tempat duduk memang sangat kecil. Tak la jugk kesah sebab dah biasa berdiri. 

So there i was, minding my own business, playing with my phone, berdiri mengadap passanger yang duduk.

Tiba-tiba..

"Dik.. Nak duduk?" tegur sorang akak yang duduk depan aku. "Sorry la akak baru perasan.." katanya.

And i was like "Eh.. Takpe kak"

And she said "Takpe.. Duduk lah" sambil nak bangon.

Aku pon cakap "Takpe kak.. Saya bukan ngandong pon. Ni gemok je.."

Muka hakak tu PRICELESS

Reaction dalam kepala hotak aku pon PRICELESS.

HAMAGADDDD serious lah aku dah gemok tahap orang mengandong ke weh?

Then i realized i have been eating a lot lately especially bende manis seperti ice blended, choc chip cookies (banyak gila sebab tengah membungkus kat umah untuk doorgift adik aku kawen), popcorn.. Aku perasan gak nasi dalam pinggan pon dah jadi setengah pinggan compared to dulu before Afif suku pinggan gitu je. 

Alasan aku makan sukahati adalah sebab aku breastfeed, i need more to produce milk. Memang selama ni makan banyak mana pon, berat aku maintain. Siap lose weight masa cuti 3 bulan sebab penat jadi SAHM. Tapi skang aku pam pon sehari sekali compared to dulu 2-3 kali. Memang calorie berlebih tu jadi lemak la, bukan jadi susu.

A hard slap of reality in my face.

Seriously, kene kembali ke pangkal jalan. 

No more excessive eating. 
No more twice a week Extreme Latte Frappe. 
No more makan cookies. 
No more cream based pasta everytime makan pasta. 
No more nasik lemak. 
No more late night nasik just because "nanti malam takda susu camne?"

Have to workout.

Petang tu, sampai je umah lepas amek Afif terus lah mini workout katanya. Kat dalam bilik je pon sambil Afif layan iPad. Planking. Push-ups. Sit-ups (which i failed miserably sebab takde orang pegang kaki aku). Squats. The things i learnt in bootcamp. Nak gi gym, jogging bagai sape la nak jaga anak aku kan..

Lunch pulak harini aku makan salad je. Ok fine sebenarnya bawah salad tu ade pasta coz i still need some carbo ok. But at least not nasi lauk ayam lemak.

Not much but it's something. A start to my change.


Aku bukan nak diet beriya macam orang kat insta/fb #eatclean #workout #abs #fitness katanya. Sekadar kembali ke pangkal jalan. 

Wish me luck and doa la supaya aku tak start makan cam onggiler after 1 week. 

30 day squat challenge for beautiful ass.
Jom?

p/s: aku pon slalu confuse dalam train sama ada seseorang perempuan itu mengandung atau pon gemok. Aku rasa tips untuk tau pompuan dalam train tu pregnant ataupon gemok: 

1) kalo pakai kasut 5 inci sah la tak pregnant. 
2) kalo dia muka pucat nampak penat pastu pegang perot 70% kemungkinan dia pregnant
3) pakai kasut tumit rendah yang tak cantik tapi comfy tu kemungkinan 50% pregnant (i wore a hideous yellow Clarks flats throughout my pregnancy sebab walopon tak cantik, itu yg paling selesa utk aku)
4) dia tayang perot dia kat depan 'seats for disabled people' dengan muka yang macam kata "bangon la wehh aku ngandong, nak duduk"

May 21, 2014

Slow

Boleh tak aku nak kata aku stress dengan keje?

Haih.

Tahun baru ni, opis baru ada re-org. New boss. New task. New experience.

Tapi ntah la. Aku rasa macam lagi kurang keje. Aku harapkan dapat technical work seperti buat static model ke, buat well proposal ke. Tapi setakat almost 2 bulan yang aku dah start keje ni, keje aku adalah kumpul data, review report orang, compare itu ini.

Haih.

Stress lah weh.


p/s: Manusia. Keje banyak, komplen. Keje sikit, komplen. Keje susah, komplen. Keje senang, komplen.

Update: lepas je aku tulis post ni, aku gi jumpe boss, propose in-house study. And she said yes! Yayyy so ade la jugak technical job pasni. Wish me luck!


May 16, 2014

My New Baby

For those who know me, they know that i love to shop. Heck, pompuan mana lah tak suka shopping kan? Kikiki..

Tapi sebenarnya those who knows me know that sebenarnya aku ni kedekut. Truthfully, aku takda designer shoes. Bag mahal pon ada satu je, itu pon beg hantaran yang laki aku bagi. Mini Stam by March Jacobs tu dah dua tahun aku usha. Nak beli, sayang duit. Bukan tak mampu weh tapi duit beriban tu baik la aku gi travel or beli bag 2-3 ketul. Laki aku kesian, dia belikan lah juga untuk buat hantaran. Sukaaaaa! Sampai skang terperap dalam dustbag, pakai bila ada special occasion je. Punya lah sayang.

For this year's bonus, i decided to buy something BIG for myself. As a reward for the past one year of being a mom. For the time i took off work to concentrate on Afif. For buying something significant that i can look back and say "Oh.. Tahun 2014 aku beli INI". Something entirely for me. Unlike past years where i save up my bonus for family holidays, house stuff, baby stuff, wedding stuff..

So i decided to buy a bag. A designer bag.

Aku bajetkan bawah 5k je. 5k tu pon aku rasa banyak dah weh for a bag. i surveyed high and low for something i like below RM5k. Gucci, LV, Ferragamo, Prada, Fendi.. Ceh Carlo Rino tak pulak ko jengah kan? Baahaha..

Yang sakit hati nya, semua bag aku suka mesti atas 5k. Yang 5k and below either canvas or fabric. Gila tak berbaloi beli bag beriban tapi bukan leather pon. Alang-alang mahal, beli la leather kan? Tapi paham tak yang aku suka memang semuanya over budget. 

Stress.

Antara beg yang aku usha dan berkenan:


Fendi Toujours 

MM Neverfull Epi Leather in Orange.
One of my dream bags. Boleh letak botol susu, barang anak, mak nenek segala. 
Pastu As kata ko beli bag mahal nak letak botol susu anak? (-____-)

 Chanel Boy.
Berangan je weh masuk Chanel. Ni lagi la berbelas ribu. Mampoo?

Prada Double Zipper Patent Saffiano.
Went crazy for this aaaa!

3 weeks aku survey weh.. Survey online, survey kat butik. 3 weeks i ponder is it freaking worth it to spend thousands on a bag? 3 weeks i slept on it. 3 weeks aku membebel kat laki aku pasal handbag. 3 freaking weeks! 

Last-last laki aku kata "beli je la mana yang suka.. Kang beli yang murah (tapi mahal gak) tapi tak suka buat apa?" Mesti dia dah penat dengar aku membebel, meng-compare itu ini.

Maka aku beli je la walopon memang telan air liur tengok orang tu swipe kad aku kaa-chinggg!

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 Ngajor anak naik beskal sambil pegang handbag. Boleh?
Muat je pampers and botol susu Afif dalam ni. Bahaha.


Ok. Now i can shut up. Dok dediam peluk je beg ape ade. Pasni takde dah entry aku beli beg ye. Menabung balik. Tunggu dua tahun.

Okbye.


May 12, 2014

Toddler Activity: Bathroom Painting

Ok so Afif loves the iPad. i came to realize that after two mornings of him getting up and out of bed and point the iPad at me. Now before you bash me, don't worry. It's not an addiction yet. Setakat ni tak pernah la lagi dia mengamuk tantrum kalo tak dapat. Phew phew..

But yaa.. Of course we have to plan stuff for him to vary his activities. Mainan banyak tapi kejap-kejap main dia bosan. Dia suka main air, aku layan la jugak kat toilet tapi susah sebab takot basah hearing aid dia. Main hide and seek pon layan. Dia layan gak crayon, pencil color and magic color tapi lelama dia ada idea conteng dinding plak (-____-) so i minimize his contact with those.

i got him this Crayola Washable Kids' Paint a few weeks ago. The first time we painted was one rainy day after he got up from his afternoon nap. Kononnya fun activity. Tapi time tu dia cranky, dia conteng sekali dua je pastu marah aku cat tapak tangan dia pastu we wrap up. So much for being artsy.

The supplies for painting activities.

 End product

Cranky kene paksa melukis

Then yesterday i had this bright idea of combining his favorite place, the toilet, and some art stuff. Maka terjadi lah bathroom painting!

Bangon pagi dan brekpes, i stripped him down. Ingatkan nak mandi la tuh. He got excited pon seeing the paint i laid on the stool in the bathroom. Then i started painting the house and tree, he followed suit. But of course, no house, tree or even stick figures from him yet. Conteng-conteng ikot suka je.



Muka puas hati main conteng-conteng

Our masterpiece.


He was so happy experimenting siap cover toilet bowl pon dia conteng. i think this activity is good to train our baby's motor skill and also to teach them colors. i even mix a few colors together to create a new color for example blue+yellow=green!

The best part is this Crayola Paint is totally washable. After our painting session, simbah air kat dinding tiles tu and gosok sikit-sikit pakai tangan je terus hilang color tu. No mess for lazy moms like me.


p/s: malam tu dia amek pencil color dan conteng dinding rumah while i was busy in the kitchen. Laki aku gelak je "siapa suruh ajar conteng toilet?" katanya. Haihhh..
May 8, 2014

Weekend in Kuantan

Last weekend, we went to Kuantan. Main objective is to attend my cousin Allan's akad nikah and wedding reception. Secondary objective is to jalan-jalan makan angin. Wahhh mampu ko siap ada primary secondary objective bagai..

Patotnya nak bertolak Jumaat pagi.. Tapi kene gi klinik audiologi plak nak betulkan setting hearing aid Afif sebab dia suka tarik-tarik. 2 jam jugak lah baru settle. Kami laki bini lemau melayan budak ni hide and seek and sepahkan klinik bagai. Pas settle tu baru balik, makan, and kol 2 baru gerak gi Kuantan.

Wan and Mak Ngah ikot skali gi Kuantan ni. Memang sempit lah kereta sebab ada carseat Afif lg. Masa pergi tu alhamdulillah Afif senyap je tido dalam carseat dia. Dah nak sampai baru jaga.

Sedap dia tido. Mama terkebil-kebil.

Sampai Kuantan around 5pm trus check-in kat Vistana. Memula nak lepak kat Hyatt sebab kononnya nak main pantai. Tapi tengok banyak bad review kat Tripadvisor, we changed our mind. Dok kat Vistana lagipon dalam bandar. Kitorang amek connecting room ngan Wan and Makngah kat bilik sebelah. Bilik dia cantik.. Sebab lepas refurbished. Cuma kecik sket bilik dia. Cam biasa lah budak kecik tu excited explore bilik, masuk kuar toilet and almari.

 First thing dia explore kat bilik hotel adalah jamban. Baahaha.



Malam tu gi rumah pengantin pompuan tengok diorang nikah. Diorang nikah kat dalam umah, aku dok luar je la area depan pelamin. Ntah apahal excited lebih Afif. Semua mak nenek yang ada kat situ dia salam, joget-joget, cubaan memanjat pelamin. Rakan-rakan sebaya dia plak sibok nak dekat-dekat ngan dia.. Mungkin sebab pelik tengok hearing aid dia.

 Buat rumah orang cam rumah sendiri. Gamba dia panjat pelamin tak sempat amek.

Akad nikah.


Weh aku suka gila wedding orang Pahang ni sebabnya ada ikan patin tempoyak hamagaddd.. Makan cam onggiler aku. Kalo tak mikirkan ni rumah orang, memang 3 kali kot aku tambah.

Kol 10 lebih camtu Afif nak sibok meraba nak nenen. Aku dok dalam kete breastfeed dia sambil tunggu diorang settle berinai. Dalam kol 11pm baru kitorang balik hotel. Barai la jugak weh.

Esoknya tengah hari gi reception diorang. Balik hotel melepet je kitorang. Petang tu bertegas kejotkan laki ajak gi picnic kononnya. Plan asal nak gi teluk Cempedak tapi mak haiii jam nya jalan. Last2 kitorang gi Pantai Batu Hitam which is like 15 minutes from Teluk Cempedak. Pantai lagi luas and lagi aman. Motif utama nak kasi Afif main pasir and laut. Aku tak puas hati btol masa kat Langkawi aritu dia geli pijak pasir.

Congrats Allan + Along!

 Afif dan dua pupunya, Rachel Hannah




Bila letak dia atas pasir, memula dia geli and mintak dukung. Second time aku letak je and lari cecepat. Nak tak nak dia terpaksa la berlari kejar aku. Lama-lama dia okay je. Yezza! Seronok la kami berkejaran siap laki aku beli bubbles main ngan dia. Pastu bila main air, memang bertambah suka la. Memang nampak muka dia pelik tengok air laut menerjah kaki siap berpasir-pasir. Lepastu memang ligat nak masuk dalam air. Hamboi hamboi. Aku memang tak kasi dia basah. Seluar je basah sket. Bila diajak balik, dia takmo eh. Nak masuk air jugak. Terpaksa la angkut dia masuk kete. Nasib baik takde drama.

 Happy boy discovering the world by our Creator. 
i hope you grow up to be part of the world, son. 
To see what the world has to offer. 
To appreciate.





The next day we left Kuantan at around 2pm. Sempat gak la bawak Afif berendam kat pool before check-out.

Perjalanan balik kali ni memang mencabar sebabnya Afif tanak dok dalam carseat eh.. First time aku kasi iPad dalam kete, lenguh gak tangan pegang. Bila simpan iPad, mula lah meragam. Dia either nak berpeluk ngan aku dok kat riba laki aku yang tengah drive. Maka memang tahan je la aku 3 jam tu dok blakang bersempit ngan carseat and Wan sambil riba Afif. Mak Ngah dok seat depan sebab dia besar.

All in all, we had fun. Ni yang aku teringin nak gi beach holiday lagi ni. Haih..