Baru Dapat Kaki

This past one week is interesting coz after bertatih and cruising and jalan-10-tapak-pastu-berpaut for so long, Afif can now walk independently and confidently. He's 16 months now. Yayy Alhamdulillah!

It's just too cute seeing him terkedek-kedek ke sana ke mari walking and exploring excitedly. He likes to show off, this fella. On his second walking day, he started to walk while dancing and clapping his hands like he owns the world (-___-)

Punya lah dia happy dapat kaki smpai dah 2 malam bangon kol 3 pagi and demanded to walk. 3am! Tuhan je tau betapa kami laki bini kemengantukan layan pe'el budak ni. Bed time pon dah berubah. Selalunya dia kol 9pm dah lights out dan tido. Sekarang dah lights out pon dia takmo tido. Kene la layan dia berjalan dan naik turun tangga. Kol 11pm lebih baru tido.

Yesterday we went to the Curve with my brother and his fiancee (as usual, Mr. Chenta was working). At first Afif ok je dok dalam stroller. Makan kat Sakae Sushi biasa la lasak dia. His first time eating Japanese. Fed him chawanmushi and rice with salmon teriyaki. He likes them! Sushi tak berani aku bagi sebab mentah2 ni..

Anyways, lepas makan aku gi beli kopi jap kat Coffea Coffee. Pastu cari diorang. Dari jauh aku nampak ada sorang budak berjalan sambil joget gelak2 kat tengah orang ramai. I was like "wehhh tu anak aku!" Jerit dalam hati je la mampu. Jakun sebenarnya. Faizal tengah gelak2 tengok dia berjoget gitu. 

He saw me and terkedek walked to me. Kemain la budak ni. Dah takmo dok dalam stroller rupanya. So the whole time, terpaksa la kasi dia berjalan sambil kejar sambil cuba untuk pegang tangan dia. While wearing a pair of 5-inch wedges. Fuhhh.. Sumpah penat. I swear i feel my hips dislocating. I learnt my lesson. From this point onward, no heels for me on outings with Afif. Yup, mommy shoes on.

Afif & Uncle Aqil.
Tua 2 tahun je uncle awak ni. Pasni boleh la join uncle lari-lari. Mama tau awak dah lama teringin.

 

 

That's the story of my lil' walker :)

Random Babbling

- have NOT been blogging lately because i can hardly find time to blog. Got my hands full of Afif during the day and when he goes to bed, i'd rather catch up on tv, series and movies than typing words into my blog.

- newfound respect for SAHMs. i used to think "nahhh.. They can't be THAT busy". i take back those words. every. Single. One. Of. It. It's exhausting. If i ever be a full time SAHM, i'll try to do a better job. But the reward of spending time with your baby at home everyday is priceless.

- Afif grows in front of my eyes for the past 1.5 month and i'm so amazed at the rate of development. Tiba-tiba dah boleh jalan (walaupon tak sepenuhnya lagi). He now makes his own decision. If i want to put him on the baby chair, i have to ask "Nak duduk sini tak?". Or "nak makan yogurt tak?" *point at yogurt*. "Jom kita mandi!" *point at the toilet* He'll answer by nodding or shaking his head. i mean, when and how did he pick that up? If he shakes his head but i still put him on the chair, beriya dia peluk aku takmo duduk. 

-last two weeks Afif jatuh 2 kali in one day. First, jatuh katil masa afternoon nap. Thank God bantal jatuh dulu and dia jatuh atas bantal. Nanges terkejut je. Second time masa berjalan sebab karpet licin. Bibir dia berdarah atas bawah. Seriau tengok darah banyak. Nasib baik dia ok je pastu. i'm kinda glad he fell. Sebabnya kalo ada aku, aku kan overly worried mom.. Nak jatuh je aku sambut so dia tak pernah jatuh teruk. Ni dia jatuh while i wasnt there so i hope he learn something. True enough after that, dia more careful.

- Bibir dia yang berdarah tu jadi ulcer a few days lepas jatuh. Kesian gila menanges everytime makan. Last-last, 3 hari dia langsung tanak makan apa. Nampak je sudu dia trus geleng kepala. Aku boleh suap solid food je masukkan betul-betul dalam mulut supaya tak kena ulcer. Bayangkan sehari makan 5-6 cubit roti je. Tuhan je tau camne aku risau. Nasib baik boleh breastfeed. Banyak rely on susu je la. Alhamdulillah 2-3 hari ni dah ok ulcer dia. tengah kemaruk makan la ni.

- past week rajin plak aku masak memasak benda fancy sket. Ok la tak rajin mana. Pancakes and lasagna je. That's something compared to my daily lauk pauk je.

- This time around, ramai lak kekawan beranak. Aku tetiba takot nak beranak normal. My c-section and recovery were easy, Alhamdulillah. Aku tetiba terfikir mampu ke aku nak merasa sakit contraction dan meneran kalau branak normal? Haritu aku merasa air ketuban pecah and contraction sampai 2cm je. Camne nak tahan smpai 10cm? Seriau tetiba.

- No. i'm not pregnant yet. Hold off dulu lah any plans for Adik. Nak concentrate on Afif's hearing and speech development dulu. Nanti agak-agak dah ok baru try. Of course, we plan but Allah is the best planner :)

Taking Him Out

One of my goals while on leave is to take Afif out, enjoying the outdoors as much as possible. You know how most child experts suggests exposing children to the outdoor in early childhood, stuff like that.. Besides, i really think that staying at home all day will make me lose my mind. Tak kira lagi kesenangan untuk menambah berat badan.  By taking Afif out, i can get some sweat on. At least that's what i've been telling myself.

i am not too ambitious. Come on, even i wouldn't believe i'd have the energy to take him out everyday after running after him indoor (serious penat jaga budak baru nak dapat kaki). 3-4 times a week with half an hour each sessions will do for us. 

So far so good laa.. Some days we'll go to the playground by car. Some days, i put him in the stroller and jog to the playground. Kalau malas sangat, main sepak-sepak bola kat laman rumah je or take him for a walk around the block. As Mr. Chenta is working most days, slalunya gi playground bertemankan adik aku, Redha.

Favorite dia kat playground adalah slide and swing. Tapi takmo swing sendiri dlm baby swing tu. Nak swing ngan aku, mungkin sebab aku nyanyi sambil berbuai (fefeeling Bawang Putih Bawang Merah gittew). Haritu terhantuk kat slide skali. Benjol kepala. Sejak tu dia kureng sket naik slide. Kalo nampak budak2 besar dr dia main, sibok gak nak join. Tak sedar diri jalan pon berpimpin lagi.

Lepas terhantuk, tuam pakai frozen peas/mix vege. Benjol tak ketara pastu. 

Btw, last week dia dah start jalan sendiri. Wiwiwi. At last. Dah boleh la 10 tapak jalan sendiri. Tapi kitorang still kene berjaga-jaga sebabnya dia kalau jatuh bukan terduduk/tahan ngan lutut. Dia jatuh kaki tegak maka akan tersembam head first. Dah 2 kali jatuh benjol. Adoi laa anak aku. Itsokay, awak dah leh jalan is good enough for mama and daddy. In a few weeks you'll be a pro.

 

Recipe: Bolognese Pasta Sauce for Babies

As i blogged in the last post, Afif loves pasta with bolognese sauce. The first few times, i made the sauce using leftover of pizza sauce that i made which used canned peeled tomatoes. As the canned tomatoes are preserved with vinegar, Wan kata guna lah fresh tomatoes. Gentler on Afif's tummy katanya. Baik lah. Google home made pasta sauce and made some adjustment.

Here's the recipe:

Chicken Bolognese Pasta Sauce

Ingredients
4 peeled ripe tomatoes (to peel: cut an 'X' on top of tomatoes, put in boiling water for 10 seconds, and put into a bowl full of iced water. The skin will easily come off)
olive oil
2 cloves garlic (diced)
Bolognese herbs (i use Masterfood brand)
Half teaspoon of black pepper
Chicken breast (cut into little pieces) or minced chicken
1 fresh mushroom (cut into little pieces)
1.5 cup of water
Half of a carrot (coarsely cut)
Salt and sugar to taste

Spaghetti Bolognese herbs

Method

Sautee the garlic in olive oil until golden brown (sampai naik bau lah orang kata). Put in the tomatoes (don't forget to remove the seeds and cut them in 4) and some water. When they boil, put in the bolognese herbs, black pepper, and a bit of salt and sugar. Reduce heat (api paling slow lah kiranya) and leave for approximately 1.5 hours to soften the tomatoes. After 1.5 hours, stir in the minced chicken and carrot (carrot is used to absorb acidity of the tomatoes). Wait until chicken in thoroughly cooked. Set aside. Remove the carrot pieces (i always munch it). Serve with alphabet pasta. Yum!

This recipe can make 6 servings with about 1oz per serving. i usually freeze the sauce and reheat it for Afif. Tak payah la banyak kali nak masak.

Bolognese sauce, ready to be frozen.

Pasni nak try buat cream based pasta sauce plak untuk Mama Afif.

At 15 Month

Dah lama tak buat post Afif's milestone. Moh kite..

Feeding

-Kalo nasik or porridge memang susah betol nak makan. Macam-macam style aku buat dah. Tumis pakai butter or olive oil. Letak telur or letak cheese. Vege and protein pon aku tukar-tukar nak test mana dia nak; broccoli, carrot, pumpkin, spinach.. Chicken or salmon. Tak kisah la apa pon cara, still dia takmo. Aku conclude dia memang kureng suka nasik.

-Makan nasik lauk kurma suka pulak.

-Tapi kalo pasta amboih laju je makan. Selalunya licin mangkuk. Yang paling dia suka tomato-based sauce. Aku memang buat sendiri pasta sauce tu sebabnya yg ready made tu buat pakai cuka. Takot perot dia sensitip pulak. Pasta plak pakai alphabet pasta. Senang kecik-kecik takyah nak potong bagai.

-Dia suka makan fruits. Betik, tembikai, melon, limau mandarin.. Kalo brekfes tu kadang aku malas aku bagi je dia avocado-banana mash. Memang laju je habis.

-Snacks lain yang dia suka adalah Cheerios cereal and organic apple puff ape ntah brand tu aku beli kat Manjaku. Roti cicah air cekelat pon feveret.

-Ni sejak aku kat rumah memang memanjang dia bergayut nak breastfeed. Every hour. Tak dapat monitor brapa oz sebenarnya. So happy i can fully direct breastfeed him. Takyah risau susu dipam cukup ke tak hari-hari.

 Alphabet pasta with homemade chicken bolognese sauce. His current favorite.

Development

-At 15 month dia belom boleh jalan sendiri okeh. Pening gak aku sebabnya dah 3 bulan bertatih ni. Bila lepas tangan, dia jalan 4-5 steps pastu jatuhkan badan. Macam dia gayat je nak bediri/jalan lelama. Kadang kalo dia berdiri and rasa aku lepaskan tangan, cecepat dia duduk. Takpe, i know it'll be soon. I'll enjoy these days that you love holding my hands so much.
-Skill lain dah boleh salam and cium tangan orang. Wave hands and flying kiss. High five. Suap makanan sendiri guna sudu even though clumsy lagi. Dah tau konsep bukak/tutup lampu, fridge, penutup teko (he's obsessed with teapot). Geleng kepala bila takmo. Clap hands. Dance to songs.
-Tunjuk kat mata bila ditanya mana mata.. Ketap-ketap gigi bila ditanya mana gigi. Bila nampak patung Barney, dia tunjuk mata Barney pastu tunjuk mata dia. Matching skill is there.

Teman mama dedi lepak kat mapley.

 You're just like an angel. Your skin makes me cry.

Activities and Hobbies

-Hobi dia apa lagi kalo bukan iPad. Kalo nmpak iPad tu tu shriek sambil tangan joget-joget. Memang pantang la dgn aku. Sehari aku limitkan boleh 2 sessions je tu pon 10 minutes. Nasib baik kat iPad dia reti unlock, tengok videos and tolak-tolak page apps tu je. Tak ajar main game.
-Sekarang dia suka menyanyi. Ada satu lagu dalam Barney ni Chugga-chug dia suka betul. Everytime dia nyanyi (bukan ada tune pon. Aaa-aa-aaa camtu) sambil menari cam Barney, kitorang tau la dia tgh nyanyi lagu tu. Haha
-Suka jugak main passing-passing bola back and forth ngan aku or Hubby. Excited nak tangkap bola  everytime kitorang pass kat dia. Pastu baling bola tu bawah lemari suruh orang amek (-____-)
-Suka campak barang atas lantai. Yang ni aku penat btol nak layan tapi layan kan aje. Everytime dia campak, aku akan buat muka terkejut and cakap "Hahhhh! Susu/mangkok/kalkulator/bola jatuh! Siapa jatuhkan? Afif ke? Pegi amek.." Memang idok ler dia amek.
-Dah pandai main Mega Bloks. Idok ler sampai built gajah/spaceship bagai.. Dia dah tau konsep sambungkan blocks. Sambungkan, pastu cabut. Gitu je ler..
-Obsess dengan kucing. Seboleh boleh dikejarnya kucing.
-Haritu kat Langkawi bawak dia gi beach. Nak ajar main pasir kononnya. Tapi dia geli. Diangkat nya kaki pastu suh aku dukung. Sabar je la.

 Tiger and cat.

Upin Ipin's biggest fan. 

 

Kecewa sebab mama suruh main masak-masak ngan Barney. i wanna play ball ma!

(in my defense, the speech therapist suggest role play to enhance speech and language development)

 

 Mama's mall buddy.

Hearing & Speech

-Alhamdulillah sejak aku amek cuti ni, nampak banyak improvement. Paling penting dia suka pakai HA dia. Dulu suka cabut. Skarang memang bila dipakaikan, sampai aku tanggalkan baru cabut. Alhamdulillah.

-Kalo aku lupa pakaikan, dia tunjuk kat hearing aid tu. Pernah skali ni aku sengaja tak pakaikan sambil bg dia tengok Upin Ipin. Pastu dia raba telinga dia sambil pandang aku. i take as a sign that he's asking for it.

-Lagi banyak membebel dan menyanyi. Dulu kureng.

-Tapi bunyi yang dia keluarkan still limited to aaaa, maaa, mammm, abumm.. Still no na, ta, da.. It's okay. We'll get there. Tak sabar gi next speech therapy nak belajar how to teach him to produce sounds.

Routine

Today is the 14th day of being a SAHM. The experience? Mixed of yayy and grrrr..

i applied for my unpaid leave in the second week of December. Ada sedikit isu sebabnya kitorang bertukar bos. Bos lama takda authority nak sign, bos baru pulak bila aku cari kat opis dia, selalu takda. But i'm so thankful that all my bosses are understanding and supportive. Siap suruh aku cuti setahun terus. Eh? Pastu kene settlekan bayar in advance loan rumah untuk 3 bulan. Perghh nasib baik ada savings. Kalo tak, susah jugak. Maka gedebuk gedebak, 2 days before actual cuti date tu baru all are signed, sealed and submitted to HR. Legaaa..

Selama ni, aku slalu berangan nak brenti keje, jadi SAHM or have small business from home. But seriously, seminggu sebelum start cuti tu, aku banyak termenung. Kat opis i kept thinking "i'm gonna miss my friends. This computer, i'm gonna miss it.." Sambil jalan kat KLCC tu aku fikir "Goshh i won't be able to drink San Francisco for breakfast for a long long time.." Sampai makcik cleaner and makcik kat foodcourt pon aku sedih memikirkan akan rindu. Tak campur lg hal kerja. Accanner kalo nanti tak reti jadi geologist dah?

And then there's this "Crap! i have to depend on hubby for money.." which stresses me out coz i've always been independent. Buy what i want with my own money. Bak kata member aku "Nanti nak beli jagung rebus kat pasar pon mintak ihsan laki.." Haih..

But a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do.

Start cuti 2 Januari 2014 tuhari tapi sebab first Jan tu public holiday, kiranya new year lah aku jadi surirumah.

Serious weh. Jadi. Surirumah. Adalah. Lagi. Penat. Daripada. Jadi. Working. Mom.

Rutin Pagi

-Bangon around 9am.

-Golek-golek geletek ngan Afif.

-Turun breakfast.

-Feed Afif sambil dia buat sepah/ suap aku/round dapur

-Mandikan Afif.

-Dia nenen setengah jam.

-Activities: Tatih around the house/tengok kucing/tengok Upin Ipin/tengok Barney/main toys indoor/ sambil stress sebab kenapa ko taknak lepas tangan mama bila berjalan? Sambil dia nangis kenapa mama suka lepaskan tangan suruh aku jalan sendiri?

-Nenen lagi

-Afternoon nap. (sometimes for both of us, sometimes only him while i do my thing to get my sanity)

-Masak Afif's lunch / kalo ada mood, masak for the whole family

Rutin Tengah Hari - Petang

-Lunch 

-Afif bangon

-Activities

-Feed Afif lunch sambil stress sebab dia makan sikit.

-Nenen

-Activities

-Nenen

-Try to get him to nap

-Do chores

-Afternoon walk around the block or playground

-Bathe Afif

Rutin Malam

-Play

-Feed Afif dinner

-Mama dinner

-Get Afif to bed (read: nenen for 2 hours to sleep gahhhh)

-Kemas bilik/lipat kain/panaskan lauk/tunggu Hubby balik.

Ini lah lebih kurang rutin aku.

i'm lucky i live with Wan and Mak Ngah. They cook. Kalau sempat, aku basuh, sidai, lipat baju. On days when Afif is not too clingy, i cook/kemas bilik/vacuum. Gitu lah. Setakat ni sempat 3 hari masak mac n' cheese and pizza. Both from scratch nan hado guna ready made sauce bagai.

Tak dapat aku bayangkan full time housewife ada 3-4 orang anak. Mana nak layan budak, kemas rumah, laundry, masak. Memang gila.

But i'm loving it, actually. This stay at home thing. i just wish i can earn what i earn at the office, being a SAHM.

 Explained why my Instagram is full of Afif.

Officially a Stay at Home Mom

Hope it's not too late to wish ya'll Happy New Year!

i started the year off by doing something entirely new: being a stay at home mom or in short, SAHM. So today was my eighth day of being a full time mom.

Jangan salah paham.. Sebenarnya, bukanlah quit kerja terus. i'm on 3-month unpaid leave. Kenapa?

As i have blogged in this post, Afif has hearing problem. We have been attending speech therapy sessions since December 2013. In the sessions, the therapist, Dr. Basyar emphasized that parents' role in helping the child develop good speech and language skills are very big. She said that there are two scenarios for hearing impaired toddlers like Afif:

Scenario 1: grow up to have good speech and language skills with no/minimal need of sign language. Kids like this will be in the speaking society and can attend public school.

Scenario 2: grow up to have poor/minimal speech and language skills, need to use sign language as mean of communication. Kids in this category belong in the sign language society and will need to attend special school.

Don't get me wrong. i am not against disabled people, further away from discriminating against them. i believe that disabled or not, a person can aim and put effort to be whatever they want to be. But as a parent that belongs to the speaking society, i'd like for Afif to be in the speaking society too. i dream for him to attend pre-school, kindergarten, go to sekolah kebangsaan and menengah and follow his dreams to be what he aims to be in life. For that reason, i will do whatever i must to help him obtain good speech and language skills. So yeah, i aim for scenario 1.

It's easier said than done. Before this, Mr. Chenta and i thought that buying him the hearing aids is sufficient enough. Wrong! Getting him to wear hearing aid in all waking hours is challenging in the first few months. We also have to interact, communicate and let him hear sounds to help him to speak.

Masalahnya, kalau duduk dengan babysitter, i can't monitor his HA usage. Dia suka tanggalkan.. Aku pon kekadang hilang sabar nak pakaikan balik, apatah lagi babysitter yang ada baby lain untuk dijaga. Other than that, we feel that he might not get enough interaction for speech development. Maka dengan itu, aku dengan rela hati amek cuti tanpa gaji.

Ideally, a child needs to be with a parent/guardian full time until he can speak clearly in full sentence "Mama, Afif nak makan pasta". That takes about 3-4 years. Eventually, it's either hubby or i have to quit our job. We'll think about that as we go along.

For now, i'm gonna enjoy being a full-time mama to Afif Haiqal (while figuring out the next step..)

Celebrations Wiwiwi

Tak sah la kalo dah meningkat usia di hari jadi, takda celebration kan? Being celebrated, no matter how small, is enough to make a person happy. i am no exception.

On Tuesday, 24.12.13 (my birthday) i went to work like usual. Takda maknanya aku nak amek cuti semata-mata kerana birthday. Hubby plak keje syif malam the night before, apa lah maknanya aku cuti kalo dia melepek tido je nanti.

Cam bese lah, orang wish birthday kat Facebook and Whatsapp. Tersengih-sengih aku baca. 

At around 11am, aku kuar dari toilet, tetiba As ajak gi pantry. Aku dah macam "Huh?" Tak suspect langsung seprais ke hape sebab pompuan ni tak sentimental langsung orangnya. Rupanya ada a bunch of my friends nyanyi happy birthday siap dengan cupcakes 6 ketul dan lilin. Terkejut aku siap cakap "korangggg! Benci tauuu!". Malu sebenarnya. Aaaa terharu. Makan-makan potong kek sampai kenyang. Thanks Zarith, As, Yu He, Maz, and Dalilah! First time jugak aku jumpa orang same birthday ngan aku iaitu Nadia (officemate jugak tp tak brapa rapat sebab dia baru transfer masuk setahun yg lepas)

Pastu Chuna plak ajak lunch. Sempena birthday katanya. Awww.. Aku kenyang lagi makan cupcake tadi, maka kitorang melantak kat Wafflemeister je. Thanks babe!

Our waffles with dark chocolate drizzle and chocolate peanut ice cream (Chuna's) and hazelnut ice cream (mine)

Both Capricorners. Both are mothers, coffee and chocolate  lovers.

After lunch aku rasa sebu and muak gila makan cupcake and waffle dari pagi. Gila engko semua manis. Kol 3 camtu lapa nasik dan lapa benda masin. Linda plak ajak birthday treat. Weehuhu. Dia ajak makan Japanese kat Yuzu. This is HUGE for me because before this, ko jangan harap lah Linda makan Japanese.  Geli katanya. Ntah apahal dah berubah dia suka plak. Tepat kol 5pm, kitorang turun.

Fusion Sushi, Seafood Hot Platter something and Crispy Soft Shell Crab. Miso sup dan nasik tiada dalam gambar. Boleh plak aku lupa bergambar dengan Linda.

Thanks babe. i love you so much!

Petang tu balik umah cam bese lah. Aku dah call Mr. Chenta mintak amek anak kol 6pm sebab aku lambat tapi bila smpai je LRT (kakak amek aku), dia kata laki aku tak amek anak lagi. Time tu kol 7.15pm dah. Sabar je la. Maka aku pon amek Afif.

Birthday girl kan, good mood, idok ler aku sentap ngan laki aku. Balik tu makan cam bese pastu main ngan Afif. Tetiba pintu umah terbukak pastu Kakak, Faizal and Redha datang bawak kek ada banyak lilin nyanyi Happy Birthday. Sumpah terkejut weh. Awwwww sangat. Potong kek gitu-gitu je lah. Rupanya Mr. Chenta suh diorang gi beli kek. Muahaha sejak bler ntah pandai surprise-surprise ni.

Typo. Sebenarnya 2nd anniversary hokayyy! 

Time ni la kek tu hancur sebab Afif geram. Kasi chance dia potong kek sebab birthday dia aritu tak potong kek ponnn..

The next day tu Christmas day. Public holiday. Memang allocate hari ni untuk dating ngan Hubby Baby. Kol 1pm camtu bila Afif tengah afternoon nap dia, kitorang keluar. Nak gi Pavi sebab aku dah lama gila tak menjejakkan kaki ke sana. Wrong move coz the traffic was so bad hamagaddd. Sejam baru smpai Pavi from Wangsa Maju.

Sampai-sampai memang lapa gila weh. Cadangnya nak tengok The Hobbit tapi full house la. Terus serbu Tony Roma's. Tried their lamb ribs sedap hamagaddd! Hubby Baby order pasta tapi so-so je lah.

Lamb ribs, onion loaf and chicken alfredo pasta.

Tengah jalan pon jadi lah.

A while back Hubby Baby tanya aku nak birthday present apa. Aku cakap takmo pape. Simpan duit coz we need to save up. Tapi pastu aku tarik balik kenyataan itu dan kata aku nak jewelry. Wiwiwiwi.. Maka after lunch aritu kami ke Pandora. Pilih yang basic je tak sampai hati ketuk berlebihan kang next year dia takmo kasi hadiah pulak. Baahaha.

First Pandora evah!

That's the story of my 28th birthday. Though small and far from glamorous, these celebrations made me realized that i'm surrounded by good people, the ones that i love who love me back. Thanks korang!

To my Hubby Baby, happy second anniversary. You made me the luckiest girl alive when you made me your wife. i pray that our love strengthen with every passing day, through thick and thin till Jannah. In shaa Allah. Amin.

28

24.12.2013

i turned 28.

Tiba-tiba dah 28 tahun. Rasa macam minggu lepas tunggu bas kat bus stop UMS lepas kelas. Macam semalam baru report duty nak masuk keje. Haih.

When i was younger, i was afraid of growing up. Afraid to lose my playfulness, my freedom and my youth. Afraid of being an adult.

Fast forward to now. Yes, responsibility and commitment replace playfulness. Being a wife and a mother replace being reckless and being free. My once-youthful face now has fine lines.

But guess what?

i have also learnt that none of that matters.

i'm still playful especially when i'm around kids and my husband.
The responsibility and commitment that i was so scared of? They give me stable income, a house, a car and what i need to live comfortably.
Being a wife and mother made me realize the happiness that shopping, traveling, and going out till late give you is nothing compared to the happiness of waking up to your husband and baby next to you. And those stolen kisses and toothy grins.
i have accepted that my face and body will sag and get wrinkly but we always have SKII, all those magic portions and cardio workouts to help us stay young and healthy.

Alhamdulillah.

i am in a happy place. Life is not perfect but i am content with what i have.

Syukran ya Allah.

Demam Lagi

Afif has been having flu and runny nose ever since we got back from Bangkok. Memula selsema and runny nose je. Kesian btol budak bila idong sumbat. Makan and minom pon payah..

Last two days dia mula batuk. Babysitter Whatsapp kata dia nanges all day, muntah kahak dan takmo makan. Malam tu payah tido. Muntah. Pagi bangon, suara dia serak dah.

Semalam ingat nak bawak dia gi paed kitorang slalu gi iaitu Dr. Shanaliza. Tapi tutup plak. Oh, semalam jugak adalah Afif's second speech therapy session. Aku memang amek halfday la semalam sebab nk bawak dia gi klinik dan terapi.

Malam tadi dia demam suhu yang panas. Muntah dua kali. Merengek. Lepas bagi ubat demam, baru tido. Tapi itu pon clingy gila stok peluk aku, kalo aku gerak sket dia terus terjaga.

Pagi ni still teruk jugak batuk. Aku bawak dia gi klinik Dr. Nadir nak sedut kahak. Aku panggil klinik tu "Baby's Torture Chamber" sebab segala budak yang gi situ konfem nanges bila kene nebulizer dan sedut kahak/hingus tu. Selalunya husband yang pegang Afif masa neb tp dia kerja harini. Jadi, aku la tukang pegang. Sedih tengok dia miserable. Kali ni dia tak menangis meraung, dia just nanges perlahan macam sedih kenapa lah mama aku buat aku camni. Sorry, sayang. Mama wants you to get better.

Pastu dia termenung je. Ni dah tido. Pheww..

Dr. Nadir kata baby kalo banyak travel and naik flight/dok hotel memang senang sakit. Sebabnye centralizd airconds kat dlm airplane and hotel rooms circulate all kinds of virus/bacteria from all kinds of people. Memang salah aku la jugak.  The past few weeks memang banyak travel. Perth, Bangkok, Kota Bharu.. Ni weekend ni nak fly ke Langkawi pulak. Haih.. Sorry Afif. Starting next year kte tak ke mana-mana dah.

Sejak Afif dah besar ni, banyak kali selsema n demam. Sedih la. Bila jadi camni sebolehnya i wanna be there with him, jaga dia. It means i have to take time off work. i feel so torn between work and my baby. Lebihkan family makes me look like an incompetent staff. Being a working mom makes me a bad mom. How lah..

Sayang, get well soon please. Mama is so worried.