The First Day

Today is a very heart breaking day for me.

The day i had to send my precious little son to the babysitter.

Cries.

Wails.

Cries.

Seriously i don't know how you mothers do it. Tabah gila.

i feel like a failure, having to leave my child. Tapi nak buat camne lah kan.. Nak berhenti kerja and be a stay at home mom, suami saya bukan lah orang kaya nak menanggung semua expenses. Both of us have to work to maintain the life quality that we're comfortable with. Nak continue suruh Wan jaga, Wan dah tak sihat cam dulu, sejak keluar hospital haritu. This is our only choice for now.

i understand that no other person will love and care for your child as best as you do but i really pray that the babysitter sincerely loves my son, dan jaga lah dengan penuh amanah. Mintak simpang lah anak aku kene dera ke apa.

Pagi tadi Afif happy je pagi-pagi dapat naik kereta. Dia tak tau kita nak tinggalkan dia kat rumah pengasuh. Masuk je rumah tu, macam biasa lah dia sebok pandang sana sini. Curious. Pastu dia pelik, baring di tilam yang asing. Aku kuarkan botol susu, suap bagi dia minom. Tak lama pastu beralih tangan pulak ke babysitter. He looks confused. i almost cry. So aku bla cepat-cepat sebelum berdrama plak nanges kat situ. Sigh. Nasib baik lah anak aku bukan jenis menanges tanak kat strangers.

Sampai skang aku takleh concentrate. Teringat apa lah khabar anak aku. Nanges kah dia? Ok kah dia? Semalam try bagi makan organic baby cereal yang kawan MIL aku hadiahkan. Ok kah perot dia? Sebabnya sebelom ni makan Heinz cereal dia sembelit. Sigh.

Bertabah lah wahai hati.

Afif's Baby Chair

Yesterday my parents-in-law flew in from Kuching. So we brought them to TGI Fridays for dinner. Kekdahnye sekali la celebrate Mother and Father's Days. Ye lah haritu Mother's Day pon tak celebrate sebab diorg nunnn jauh di Kuching. Nanti Father's day tatau la dapat jumpa ke tak. So sekalilah.

Nak dijadikan cerita, try la letak Afif dalam baby chair kat Fridays tu. Selama ni tak penah try sebab tak konfiden. Ye lah, dia tak pandai duduk unsupported lagi. Duduk mesti di pegang. Duduk bersandar boleh tapi senget2 dia. So anyway, dia suka lak dok dalam baby chair kat TGIF tu. Kitorang lapik ngan stroller pad. Still kene pegang sket tapi kalo lepas pon tak la dia wobble or lembik. But bottom line is dia boleh dok tegak.

 First time on a baby chair. Sittin' like a boss with air liur meleleh!

Haaaa mama dia apalagi terus la eksaited nak beli baby chair!

Before this ade gak la usha usha kat Mothercare. Kussss semagat kejadahnya harga baby chair sampai RM350.. Yang Stokke punya lagi la sampai seribu! Aku memang tak berkira kalo bab keperluan anak. Paling penting safety dia. So memang cari baby chair with high safety standard. Tapi tak la aku sanggup berhabis sampai tiga ratus utk kerusi ja dek non. Laki aku lagi la suruh beli baby chair besi ada jaring-jaring getah macam zaman dolu kala tu (-________-)

Fikir punya fikir maka aku mengambil keputusan beli baby chair kat Ikea. Simple design, practical, high safety standard, murah! Aku heret adik aku Faizal gi Ikea sebabnya hubster kerja harini. I chose the Antilop baby high chair with table (RM64) along with Barnslig support cushion for the baby chair (RM29.90). Haaa under RM100 hokay!

Pas gi Ikea tu lapar pulak. Ingatkan nak try Picknik restaurant kat area Publika tu tapi malas pulak la nak berjalan panas-panas buta cari restoran tu. Last-last makan kat Wondermilk je (which was my first time there). Ordered spagheti Aglio Olio tapi kureng lah.. Adik aku order Super Burger sedap gilaaa..

 My Aglio Olio Spaghetti with hot Macadamia Milk.

At this point Tuan Besar Afif Haiqal dah start cranky nak tido. Nasib baik la dia bukan jenis menjerit meraung.

Petang tu kat rumah eksaited la nak bagi dia makan on the baby chair. Success!

His late lunch of butternut squash+spinach+dates puree. He doesn't look too thrilled,huh?

Apabila playtime adalah riang ceria!

Covering Up

Ramai kawan-kawan sedara mara tanya kenapa tiba-tiba aku bertudung. Takda angin takda ribut tiba-tiba je cover up. Hmm.. Kenapa ya? Mari bercerita.

Sebenarnya kesedaran tu lama dah ada. Ye lah, suruhan menutup aurat ni bukannya baru kan? Dah ada dalam al-Quran. Aku tahu, bukan tak tahu. Dari kecik belajar agama, belajar mengaji. Hanya diri ini jahil sibok nak tayang rambut, pakai skirt, pakai baju ketat bagai. Trendy katanya. Syaiton di mana-mana.

Tapi selama manalah ko nak macam tu kan? Makin lama rasa makin tak best terdedah sana sini. So aku mula kurangkan pakai yang pendek. Seluar panjang. Skirt panjang. Baju longgar-longgar. Dresses pendek terbiar je menyemak dalam lemari tu ha.

Selain tu, hubby ade jugak lah tanya bila nak bertudung. Aku tau dia mengharap. Tapi aku tau jugak dia takmau paksa. Aku jugak fikir camne nanti Afif dah besar, dah bersekolah. Mesti dia tanya "Mama.. Kenapa mama tak tutup aurat? Ustaz kata perempuan tak tutup aurat masuk neraka.. Mama jangan lah masuk neraka.." (sila bayangkan muka Afif menangis merayu). Paham tak betapa pedihnya kalo anak ko innocent tanya camtu? Tu la jugak yang aku fikirkan. Tapi haishhhh belom jugak bertudung.

Alhamdulillah, zaman teknologi ni, kita mula kenal ustaz ustazah, mufti, etc. Kalo dulu artis je yang famous. Now we are more exposed to all these Islamic talks, ustaz ustazah ber-fb ber-tweet "Tutuplah aurat adik-adikku yang baik.. Allah Maha Pengampun" (ahemm Sham Kamikaze). Dakwah halus. So dari sini mula lah dengar ceramah online, baca articles, etc. Insap kejap. Kejap je la. Still tak berhijab lagi. Degil kan kan kan?

Turning point was this fine Friday. Lunch hour. Aku malas turun lunch. Macam biasa lah, cuci mata kat segala online boutique. Klik sana klik sini. Automatik je tangan aku klik. Tiba-tiba aku ter-snap. Tergamam sebab rupanya website yang aku tengah bukak dan tengok adalah Radiusite and Sugarscarf. Like "what the heavens am i doing looking at shawls??". Siap dah ada dua barang dalam shopping cart. And mashaAllah cantik nya wanita-wanita bertudung ini. Dari situ, mula lah adventure mengumpul tudung secara online shopping. Kumpul je, masih belum berhijab. Tak ready katanya..

Sampailah ada satu pagi Isnin yang Monday blues. Tarikhnya adalah 1.4.13. Tengah mandi time tu. Dalam toilet. i had this sudden thought "Wehh.. Baik ko pakai je tudung arini. Bila lagi ko nak pakai? Nanti tak sempat.." Kuat sangat instinct suruh pakai. Maka kuar je toilet, bersiap nak ke opis. Ku capai anak tudung, lalu dipakai. Pastu amek pulak shawl memane. Laki aku tengok aku pelik. "Eh.. Pakai tudung? Kata tak mau lagi?" Katanya sambil sengih-sengih. Aku pon jawab lah "Ntah ler tetiba rasa nak pakai arini.. Pakai je ler.." Bukan main suka laki aku.

So sejak itu lah aku ber-cover up. Dulu aku selalu doa supaya Allah bagi aku hidayah untuk berhijab, bila dah berhijab tolong lah kuatkan semangat aku untuk terus menutup aurat. Alhamdulillah, segalanya dipermudahkan. Tidak lah aku rasa susah ke rimas ke berlabuh-labuhan. Lagi tenang. Plus no more bad hair day, though bad tudung days are possible. Hihi. Tapi aku ni manusia biasa. Jangan lah dianggap aku dah bertudung, agama aku dah 100% perfect. i'm more or less the same Teefa. Aku still gelak kuat. Seluar still ada yang ketat. Baju tak la jugak labuh ke lutut. Kadang tu ade la terlepas baju lengan nya 3-suku. Haihh.. More to improve! InsyaAllah, step by step.

 Gomol budak sebelum ke opis. Muka Afif yang pasrah.

 Rocking red lips at PRD's teambuilding dinner night.

Aku pakai lipstick merah setahun sekali je noks.

Rockstar themed dinner night katanya.

p/s: Sebenarnya ada jugak dapat satu mimpi yang menakutkan. Tapi tak perlu lah cerita detail disini. Tu lah lagi kuat nak berhijab.



Wordless Wednesday: His Favorite Book So Far

Babies and Gadgets

We live in a world full of electronic devices. iPad/tablets, smartphones, camera, tv, etc.. No point denying, i AM addicted to my phone. i bring it everywhere i go. Even my husband is not that attached to me.

Nowadays, i notice that even children are attached to those gadgets. At restaurants i see mom, dad, and their teenage kids are not speaking to each other, but glued to their tablets and smartphones. Toddlers on their strollers are not looking around at their surrounding, but busy with their iPad. Once i witnessed a mom with two cranky girls (aged 2-4 years) at a restaurant and to calm them down, she shoved an iPad each to the girls. Terus senyap diorang. The mother then ate in peace.

These scenarios made me think: 1) Banyak nyer duit ko, mak bapak sampai bole belikan anak kecil gadget sorang satu. 2) Please, ya Allah, help me i don't want to depend on gadgets to calm my kids.

Like any other babies yang baru kenal dunia, Afif sangat suka tengok colorful things. Kalo dukung dia, puas lah dia meraba tudung colorful aku. Kalau tengok tv tu celik aja dia. Kalo aku or Mr. Chenta pegang/main phone, bersungguh-sungguh dia tengok scrin tu. Tapi kalo bagi toys kejap je dia boring (-_____-)

As a mom, i'm paranoid. i don't want Afif adik beradik to be one of those technology-dependent kids. But at the same time i understand how easy it is to shut your kid up by just shoving those colorful screen tablets/smartphones under their noses.

Imagine my horror when i stumbled across this article about a 4-year-old girl going to therapy for iPad addiction. And also this dad's article on his son's love for gadget. Baca lah article tersebut. Scary i tell you. It's not just about how those screens are bad for their eyes and physical and psychological development, it's also about how detached they are from you once they are attached to those electronic things. According to HealthyKidsHealtyFuture.org, we should not let babies have screen time because:

•The first 2 years of life are a critical time for brain development. Spending time in front of a screen can get in the way of exploring, playing, and interacting with grown-ups and their tiny peers — all of which encourage learning and healthy physical and social development.

•As children get older, too much screen time can interfere with being physically active, reading, doing homework, playing with friends, and spending time with family.

•Kids who consistently spend too much time watching TV are more likely to be obese or overweight.

You can read the full article here.

i admit, i used to play Candy Crush or just simply look through my phone when i breastfeed Afif. Gila engko kalo dah sejam anak aku bergayut, bosan la jugak kan. Husband aku lagi la hantu Candy Crush. Itu yang dia hadapnya 24/7. Secara tak langsung, waktu kitorang main main phone/iPad ni Afif terjebak sama.

Nowadays, i don't do that anymore. When i'm with Afif, i restrain myself from holding the phone. Sigh. It ain't easy but i gotta do it if i don't want him to be a gadget-addict like his parents. At least not at young age. Instead, i encourage him to play with his toys, read him story books, show him the mirror (dia suka betol tengok "budak hensem" didalam cermin hehe), bawak gi depan rumah tengok luar.Tapi laki aku ni susah betol dia nak bertahan. Waktu lepak ngan Afif, dia bg Afif tengok dia main Candy Crush. Apakah? Apakah??? Sigh. Tapi pasal tengok tv takleh buat apa lah. Siang Wan jaga dia memang 50% of the time depan tv. Takkan aku nak suruh Wan tutup tv the whole day pulak?

My point is, let's try to minimize our kids' contact with fancy electronic stuff. Instead, let them be kids. Let them draw, go swimming, make a mess, fight with peers, makan pasir/rumput like we used to do. i foresee it's gonna be hard when we ourselves are gadget-dependant but i'm gonna try.

Please pray that i'll succeed!

Random Friday Babbling

1. Sebenarnya saya adalah dalam sedikit kerisauan. Afif dah 6.5 months. Tapi physical progress dia adalah static since pandai niarap haritu. Dia reti lah niarap tapi malasssss sangat. Rakan-rakan sebaya dia dah bergolek, angkat bontot, bagai. Dia malas sungguh nak niarap apatah lagi bergolek golek. Bila dah niarap tu kadang-kadang ja pusing sendiri. Most of the time membebel mintak orang pusingkan. Normal kah macam ni?

2. Bawak Afif gi Tioman haritu. Syukur alhamdulillah sangat-sangat anak aku ni bukan jenis diva meragam merengek tak tentu pasal. Sepanjang perjalanan (4 jam dalam kete, 2 jam dalam bot) adalah senyap, paling tak pon membebel bahasa dia. Cuma kadang-kadang boring tu mula lah "ehek ehek ehek" dia. But nothing major. Kat sana pon cool je. Siap tidoq on both nights masa mama dedi dan aunty2 nya lepak makan. Good boy. Syukur.

Otw to breakfast.

3. Dia paling suka la bila swimming kat pool. Ohoiii mama dia la paling semangat nak bawak dia swimming. Siap beli baby sunblock, swimsuit dan neck ring untuk anak kesayangan. Masuk pool tu mula-mula dia pelik. Ekspresi muka yang macam "Ehhh.. kenapa badan aku dalam air terapung-apung tapi tak rasa muka basah macam mandi? Selamat ke ni?" Bila dia dah get the idea yang dia adalah tengah berendam, mulalah mengekek sambil kayuh-kayuh kaki. Tapi kami rendam dia 20 minutes je. Baby kecik takleh lama sangat exposed to clorine katanya..

Weeeeeee!

4. Hurmmm dah ada anak jangan haraplah percutian bersama rakan-rakan adalah freedom bebas macam zaman blom jadi mak dulu. No more late night lepak main card apatah lagi pillow talk. Anak memanggil nak bergantung untuk tido. Snorkeling lagi lah. Kitorang berempat nak g snorkeling trip tapi otw jalan kaki gi jeti tu Afif merengek-rengek sebab silau + panas. Nasib baik la laki aku cool dia kata "Itsokay you girls go ahead.. i stay back jaga Afif". Maka freedom kejap macam zaman anak dara snorkeling sama bffs. i love you lah sayang!

My three bestfriends bonding over dinner. Mr. Chenta jadi Dr. Love. Muahaha

 ..while the baby is sleeping soundly sambil ternganga mata terbukak sebelah.

18 years of friendship.. and counting.

5. Cantik hokayyy coral kat Tioman. Colorful! Kitorang nampak nemo, white sharks and a few other colorful fishes. Subhanallah. Lagi la aku kuat nak amek diving license. Dulu katanya pas kawen nak amek, tapi termengandung pulak. Ni sebelom termengandung lagi, kami laki bini plan nak amek license tu. Ntah la bila.

 View at the jetty. Time nak balik baru sempat amek gamba. Dah ada anak ni takde maknyenye nak bergambar sakan cam dolu-dolu

Kami



6. Sejak amek Depo Provera shot ni heavy eh period. Harini hari ke 8 period still lebat.

7. Aku menyampah betol bila bukak FB skang ni. Dalam newsfeed penuh cerita politikus. Kawan-kawan (kebanyakannya) teiba-tiba jadi pakar penganalisa politik. Macam dia lah paling betol. Kutuk sana, maki parti ini.. Boleh tak ko duduk diam-diam or berpolitik lah cara berhemah. Sampai masa nanti pegi je la ngundi senyap-senyap. Tak payah tunjuk pandai macam ko je paling terer dan betol. Dua-dua pihak same je. Takde yang betol di mata aku. Haptuihhh.

8. Next week ada department's team building woot woot! Macam biase la aku eksaited. Tapi lagi best sebab kali ni boleh bawak suami dan anak sebabnya saya adalah nursing mother. Tak tido la anak aku kalo ditinggalkan. Macam mana dia nak tido malam tanpa boobies mamanya? Kehkehkeh. Kebetulan husband off day 2 hari tu.. Dia kene amek 1 day je AL. This could be our mini familymoon.

9. Pastu teambuilding nyer dinner night nanti temanya adalah Rock Star. Beruban jugak kepala aku nak pikir apelahhhh nak dipakai. Gi windowshop cari idea. Banyak btol bende boleh pakai untuk orang-orang freehair. Now dah jadi hijabster (kononnya) baru paham dilema orang bertudung. i'll find something. Kalo tak pakai, je la jeans and t-shirt bodoh. Wagaga.



Review: Phillips Avent Steamer Blender

i'm telling you i LOVE making baby foods for Afif.

It took Mr. Chenta and i a while researching baby's food processor. It came down to Baby Bullet and Phillips Avent Steamer Blender. There are pros and cons, of course. Baby Bullet looks convenient but i know i won't be using ALL the fancy containers (and they will end up being unused) while some people say Phillips Steamer Blender does not steam well (the foods will still be undercooked). In the end, we decided to take our chance and chose Phillips.

Hubby bought it at LittleWhiz at RM359 and it comes with Baby Cubes food storage for FREE!

i'm loving it so far.

The steamer blender comes with a user manual and a recipe book, both i found useful. Different foods have different time and water level for steaming. For instance, carrot needs 150ml of water and 15 minutes of steaming while pear needs 50ml water and 5 minutes of steaming. Oh, you don't have to worry about measuring the water level because this baby comes with a special measuring cup for measuring. So make sure you check with the manual before steaming blending the foods to get desired result. After making baby foods a few times, you will automatically memorize the time it takes to steam different types of fruits/veges.

Using it is as simple as 1-2-3:

1) Peel, core and dice the ingredients. Make sure you dice it into a small size (i always cut it to be around 2cm)

                             Pear with honey dates                                   Carrots with french beans

2) Put the ingredients into the steamer-blender container. Make sure the steamer side is at the bottom.

3) Fill water into the measuring cup and pour into the water dispenser.

                   The unit comes with this measuring cup                 Pour water into the dispenser

4) Turn the knob to steaming mode.

5) Wait a few minutes (depending on the type of vege/fruit) until you hear a "Tingg!" sound. It means the food is cooked and ready.

The pear and dates are being steamed.

6) Turn the container upside down so that the blender blade is at the bottom.

7) Turn the knob to blending mode and blend until you get the desired consistency.

8) Ready to serve!

9) Store the extra puree into Baby Cubes and freeze.

Pear and honey dates puree ready to be frozen!

i always mix the puree with a little bit of milk so that Afif will still taste the familiar taste of mama's milk.

Having used it for one month plus now, i encounter no trouble. The fruits/vege are steamed thoroughly and it blends smoothly. i even made a simple pumpkin soup for myself once because i cut too much pumpkin for Afif alone. Really easy; steam the pumpkin along with an onion, add salt and pepper, blend then add cream or milk and serve! Tapi haritu buat pumpkin soup kureng sket sbb pakai susu HL. So rasa manis sket. Next time pakai cream.

Pumpkin soup for mama thanks to Avent steamer blender 

So far i have made carrot, pear, pumpkin-dates and apple-dates puree for Afif. i also have given him banana but that doesn't require steaming and blending. i just mashed it up with a spoon. He loves banana and pumpkin-dates the most. The others are okay laa.. Telan jugak sampai habis.

In conclusion, i really recommend Avent Steamer Blender especially for busy mothers who want to feed their little one homemade foods.

p/s: i blogged about feeding Afif rice cereal in this post. That was a mistake! i fed him that twice, dua kali jugak la dia meragam sakit perut susah poopoo. Sejak tu, bagi fruit/vege puree je tak penah lagi kasi nasik/cereal dah.

Family Planning Katanya..

Lama hoiii tak berbelog. Ada satu blogpost dalam draft tak publish-publish lagi. Nanti lah.

Btw, kami baru balik dari Pulau Tioman uols.. Bawak Afif jalan-jalan sambil mamanya juga dapat spend time dengan bff-nya. Annual Girlfriends Gateaway katanya.. Nanti lah kalo rajin berbelog pulak pasal ittew.

Kali ini ceritanya pendek sahajork. Pasal family planning. Masing-masing dah besar kan?Sampai lah kepada blogpost pasal family planning ni haa..

Remember this post wherei freaked out thinking that i'm pregnant? Phewwww tak pregnant. So setelah datangnya Aunt Flow, maka saya terus zasssss ke klinik untuk mendapatkan nasihat merancang keluarga. Sebenarnya gi klinik bawak husband yang demam yang kemudiannya disahkan denggi seperti dalam post ini, tapi sempat jugak mintak nasihat dan terus kene cucuk.

Lepas di terangkan oleh doktor (ala sebelum tu pon dah buat research kat Google and tanya kawan-kawan), i decided to take the Depo Provera shot. In short, depo provera ni adalah hormon progestrone yang disuntik ke dalam badan untuk mengelakkan ovari kita ber-ovulasi. No ovulation means not fertile, therefore no chance of getting pregnant. It also increases cervical mucus so susah lah sperm nak bernang ke dalam. Tapi jangan risau, bukan lah selamanya ko tak subur. Sekali cucuk bertahan untuk 3 bulan. Selepas 3 bulan, kene cucuk balik. Tapi kalo rasa dah ready nak baby, tak payah la amek la injection ni lagi.. Berusaha lah untuk baby baru. Hehe.

Why i chose this method?

- Saya adalah malas makan ubat so makan pil perancang is not an option for me.

- IUD lagi lah aku takot coz makcik aku pakai IUD 2 kali, both time jugak termengandung. IUD tu siap hilang lagi tak perasan pon terkeluar ke ape.. Ada kawan punya kawan pulak kene infection kat dalam tu haa sebab pakai IUD. Seram ok. So no no no.

- Natural ways e.g suami pandai-pandai or kira kalender subur adalah takot nak buat dah. Haritu period lambat terus aku meroyan. Tak larat lah nak meroyan tetiap bulan.

- Implanon is still in consideration. Katanya hormon dalam Implanon dan Depo Provera adalah sama. Kalo badan serasi ngan Depo Provera, maybe akan amek Implanon nanti. Tapi ntah lah tengok la camne kekdahnye..

But of course lika any other birth control method, Depo Provera has it's side effects such as:

- possible weight gain/loss

- missed period / heavier period

- headache

- hair loss

- possibility of unability to immediately conceive after the last shot

- google lah sendiri lain-lain side effect tu

So far dah almost 3 weeks kene cucuk ni, okay je la. No weight gain/loss YET, period still comes on time ( a bit heavier ), headache takde, hair loss memang dah experience since 3 months pospartum so takleh compare. i just hope i can conceive whenever i want once i stop with the shot. InshaAllah.

That's my story on birth control. Planningnya next year nak pregnant balik. InshaAllah. In the last 2 weeks dah 3 kali aku mimpi pregnant accanneee?

Cepat Sembuh Please..

Sejak hari Sabtu suami saya demam. Balik kerja dia mengadu sakit kepala dan badan start panas. Bagi ubat dan letak kain basah atas kepala dia.

It got worse on Sunday. Badan dia start sakit sakit. Temperature sampai 38.7degreeC. The whole day juggling jaga Afif dan daddy nya. Malam pon sama. Sampai 39degreeC temp Mr. Chenta. Kesian. He was moaning in his sleep. Panas badan tak kebah walaupon bagi ubat demam on schedule. Tapi laki aku ni degil takmo gi klinik.

I went to work on Monday. A lil exhausted sebab tak cukup rehat. Petang tu pas maghrib paksa suami ke klinik. Dia terpaksa akur sebab nk dapatkan mc muehehe. Tengok2 temp dia dah 39.3degreeC. Kulit pon dah start merah merah. Doc advice gi spital sbb kalo buat blood test kat situ pon hari Rabu br dapat result. Takot lambat sangat. Maka rushing blk rumah, packed his stuff and rushed to PCMC.

Sampai PCMC around 10pm. Settlekan insurance paper yada yada yada kol 10.20pm baru amek darah dia. Sambil tunggu result blood test, dia dibagi baring kat ER. Tengok ramai org macam2 penyakit. Ada 3-4 org mothers almost in labor. Teringat dulu aku dengan air ketuban meleleh datang ER ni ha. Kahkah. Ada sorang baby ni pon sakit. Menangis sayu je dia. Time ni rindu sgt kat Afif. Apa la khabar dia kat rumah. Terus sebak.

After one hour result blood test kuar. Thankfully not dengue. Viral fever. Doc tanya nk balik ke nak warded. Memandangkn badan dia panas kemain we decided he should be warded. Plus, takot jangkit kat Afif pulak kalo balik.

Punya lama tunggu bilik. Bilik penuh katanya. Kol 12.40am br dapat bilik. Malam tu kol 1.30am br aku n Faizal smpai rumah. Sian afif dah tertido kat depan tv.

Today i took EL. Tak larat woo keje after a long tiring night. Pagi tadi settlekan Afif. Sebenarnya Wan pon dah almost a week on off demam. Tak larat dia jaga Afif. Nasib baik adik ipar aku, Baby ada. Dia babysit afif the past few days while im at work. Dah mandikan, bagi susu, bagi makan kat Afif, kol 12.30pm gerak gi PCMC pulak temankan hubby. He looked much better. Demam pon kurang. Sebab cukup air dari IV drip agaknya. Tapi muka dan badan still merah2.

Around 3pm kami dipanggil ke doctor's office. Dr. Danial Lim kalo xsilap. Doctor check2 dia lebih kurang pastu dia kata "So.. Ur latest blood test result dah kuar. U rasa apa outcome dia?" sambil senyum2. Kitorang pn eksaited la. Hubby guessed "i can go home? Demam pon macam dah kurang..".

Tetttt! Salah! Rupanya the result is my hubby confirmed positive with dengue. But still early stage. Berderau darah aku dengar. Im so used to having him healthy and taking care of me most of the time. Him being this sick is surreal.

And now here i am at home on the bed, with my son sleeping soundly next to me. I miss my husband. It pains me to see him in pain. And even worse, i can't be there for him all the time because i have to be there for our son. It makes me feel shitty. At times like this you couldnt help but think of the worst. Im not ready to lose my husband, my best friend, my companion.

Oh Allah, please let my husband get better real soon. Please please please.

Wordless Wednesday : Day 3

Day 3.

In an effort to be a better muslimah.