March 20, 2013

For 3 Days

The day i feared has finally come.

The day that i can't fully breastfeed my son.

Sigh.

Begini ceritanya..

i went to Kuching last last Saturday (9.3.13) because my beloved sister in law was getting married last Wednesday (13.3.13). So i took one week off work. It was super nice not having to go to work. i spent most of the time with Afif at in-laws home.

Kamu tahu kan bahawa stok breastmilk saya dalam fridge tak lah selebat mereka yang mempromosikan set breastfeeding shaklee yang penuh freezer. Saya hanya ada stok utk 1-2 hari sahaja. Maka sepanjang bercuti saya telah habis menggunakan stok tersebut untuk Afif minom dalam flight, traveling around Kuching and at the wedding. Tambahan pula weddingnya kat Permai Resort, Santubong. Takkan lah tengah-tengah majlis anak nak susu, nak selak pulak tengah keramaian itu. Dah la kadang-kadang aku kene run around menguruskan majlis, Wan jaga Afif. Takkan lah nak sumbat nenen Wan pulak. Kah kah kah. Ok not funny.

Nak dijadikan cerita, bila start kerja on Monday, memang takda stok susu dah. Masa cuti memang tak sempat la nak pam hoi dia asek bergayut.

Dengan keterpaksaan sedu-sedan sebak di dada terpaksa la bagi dia minom formula milk. Enfalac A+ menjadi pilihan atas suggestion paed. Mula-mula dia reject jugak. Tapi sebab lapar agaknya dia telan gak. Now, dah 3 hari Afif minom fm di siang hari. Petang aku balik kerja terus dia demand nak bergayut.

So far okay lah dia minom fm. takda muntah-muntah, cirit birit or naik rashes. Tapi semalam masa dia tengah poopoo dia pandang dengan muka cam sakit pastu merengek sket. Dah abes poopoo senyum girang. Tak sedap perot agaknya. tapi tak pulak keras poopoo nya.

Yeah, memang syahdu jugak lah kasi fm but i have no regrets because i have tried all i can to provide him with breastmilk. i believe all moms experience this kan? We try and try to provide the best for our children but things don't always go our way.

Alhamdulillah stok susu dah kembali berkumpul dalam fridge walopon tak banyak. InsyaAllah esok dan hari-hari mendatang Afif will be on full breastmilk again. Ya Allah, murahkan lah rezeki anakku untuk dapat minom susu ibu sampai umur 2 tahun. Amin.


Hubby Whatsapp-ed me this photo when i was at work. Terus aku berlari balik sebab rindu keduanyaaa! nasib baik dah kol 5 time tu. Huhu


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